Un-glamorous

As I look back on my day I am struck by the number of things I did that serve as proof that I will never be graceful and glamorous...

I gave myself such a profound blister with a pair of cheap shoes that I bought at Target that I've been limping all week. (The cheap shoes is the unglamorous part and the large exposed blister is not only not graceful but icky.)

While talking to my client today I got one of those shivers up the spine but instead of just quietly dealing with it I started to twitch like an epileptic poodle. He had the grace to not look horrified.

I went through half of this morning with lipstick on my teeth and a large smear of black ink on the back of my hand.

I told my boss (whose name is Dain) that he was "Dain-irrific". Then I let out a very unglamorous guffaw which, I believe, was followed by a snort.

While having lunch with some co-workers I started to do an impression of my sister as a junior high-school cheerleader doing the "Funky Chicken". Allow me to repeat that -- I was in public having lunch in front of other people doing the FUNKY CHICKEN!

I would like to be the kind of person that never has a run in her stocking, knows just what to say and when to say it, and has a delightful little genteel giggle. But these, alas, are not the kind of traits I exhibit. At least my own stupidity is an endless source of amusement for my blog readers. And for that reason, dear readers, I will continue to be a jerk for as long as I can. 'Cuz I'm a giver.