Accepting dates with people I have no interest in.
Falling in love with the wrong people, thereby forcing myself to accept dates with people I have no interest in.
Watching shows like "I Hate My 30s" and "Scott Baio is 45... and single. The first one makes me want to kill all other women my age just to get them to stop bitching about our collective age and the second makes me want to kill all men over 30 for being the reason other women my age are so annoying.
Grabbing my friends boobies. It entertains me but it embarasses them and it gets creepy boys all excited.
Talking to my cats. Until they come out from behind the goddamn sofa and talk back they do not deserve the benefit of my friendly conversation.
Being a racist. I'm not actually a racist but the other day when I told some crazy lady she was in my way (standing IN the fucking doorway -- don't make me go off on this again) she called me an Asian-hater. I just thought I hated rude, insensitive people who stand in fucking doorways while people are trying to get on the train. But, no, thanks to her perceptive observation I now know that I hate Asians. I'm surprised that after 31 years living in New York City I never knew this before -- thank GOD I met crazy door lady when I did.
Writing sarcastically about racism in my Myspace blog. Because some people are not gonna get it and will probably think I really hate Asians.
Drinking so goddamn much. 'Nuff said.
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