Classless

I am thoroughly ashamed of myself, dear readers. Yesterday I, bastion of good manners and hater of all rude people, ditched someone. We were in the middle of a date, I excused myself to go to the bathroom where I started to sob uncontrollably about something completely unrelated to the date, and I left him sitting in the darkened theater waiting for the movie to start. And for this I am so guilt-ridden and bathed in absolute shame and horror, I cannot even tell you. He told me in a text message a bit later that I am classless and I am inclined to agree with him.

I don't know why I'm telling all of you this. It only makes me look bad and any fans I have will surely start reading someone else's nonsensical blog instead of this one just to punish me. But I had to tell someone. And who do I trust more than my blog readers?

My sister and my friends -- who love me no matter what stupid, insensitive things I do, inexplicably -- met me at our favorite bar in midtown, where I kept up the crying for a few more minutes and then just proceeded to feel bad about myself... which was followed by feeling very drunk, thanks to Ali.

I can't possibly convince the guy that it wasn't his fault I left him there (although I did apologize and tell him he's right, I am classless). I can't explain that I'm so tired of crying over this other stupid, completely unrelated thing that's going on in my life that I don't even want to think about it anymore let alone talk about it and that if I had come back from the ladies room with tears all over my face I would have had to explain why I was crying and I just couldn't do that. No one would understand that. And I wouldn't expect them to.

All I can say is, if he's reading this, I hope he knows that I know I'm a jerk. And I won't be accepting dates half-heartedly anymore because it's just not fair to the other person. I've learned my lesson -- even if I can't learn how not to be classless. And I do believe in karma and I know that the next time someone I like does something mean and insensitive to me that I had it coming.