Lately the consumption of cocktails does not make me sleepy. It wakes me up. Tonight Cosmos were $5 during happy hour at Blackstone's. Maybe it's all the sugar in the fruit juice that did it, but I'm wired. So I thought I would make a list of things that are irritating me lately. Ready? OK!
1) Guys who make me feel guilty for not doing more than making out with them EVEN AFTER they know that I have found out that they have a girlfriend. A cute, nice girlfriend. WHY DO MEN DO THIS? Wouldn't it just be easier to stay single than to find a girlfriend just to cheat on her? I have absolutely no patience for this.
2) The Toronto Blue Jays. Who the fuck told them they could win baseball games while I'm watching?
3) Men who cheer for the team that is playing the Yankees just because they know that I am cheering for the Yankees and they want to see if I'll get mad. I realize that all men everywhere are insanely jealous of Derek Jeter but get a hold of yourselves.
4) Men who try to shame me into drinking more by calling me a "lightweight". Are you kidding me? When was the last time that worked? The guy who tried this last was 23. As I told him, the last time I gave a flying fuck what a 23 year-old guy thought of me I was 12.
5) People who say "that's hot" when I tell them I'm a twin. Ew. We're not the Barbie Twins. Ew.
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