Because I just bought a six-pack of Magners.
Because I organized a happy hour last night and was struck with the idea that six pomegranite martinis were a good idea... which they were not.
Because "There's Something About Mary" is on, followed by "Parenthood".
Because bars are full of idiot men who are full of sperm that meeting me makes them feel like they have to get rid of just as soon as they possibly can. Not all men, mind you -- just the fucking idiot ones.
Because I just yelled at the guy who called me from my credit card company and told him he's welcome to call me five times a day for the rest of the week but there is nothing I can do about the fact that I won't have the money to pay him until next week.
Because jammies and a t-shirt are more comfortable than a slutty tank top and heels, and my bed is way more comfortable than a bar stool.
Because I'm not going to meet a guy like Denis Leary in a bar... but he is on TV.
Because I'm sitting here writing to you people, that's why.
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