I keep discovering bands that I like and then hearing their music in random places. I love this band Spoon. Right after I discovered them I heard one of their songs on an Acura commercial and then just now I heard another one on the commercial for a British TV Show that's on cable here. Weird. Anyway, if you haven't heard of them you should because I love them. Spoon and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (who will be at Central Park Summerstage on September 28 -- who wants to go with me?) And I've recently remembered how much I used to love the Violent Femmes so I am all in to them again.
Oh my God, did I tell you guys about the hot exterminator? He was super hot. And he killed the waterbugs. So I might just marry him. I'm not scared of bugs -- I don't know why, I'm missing this particular girl gene -- but I don't want to have to chase them around either. So I think it would be handy to be married to someone who will effectively kill them for me. Don't you agree? And he was so cute! I mentioned that already, right?
Last night ended badly. I'm tired of other people making me feel bad. I don't think people walk through this world trying to make me feel bad but often they do. And they don't seem to care that they do. Because I have a temper I have this new policy that when someone starts with me I will often try to walk away so that I won't do something I regret. But there are lots of people in my life who seemingly WANT me to react. They want a reason to fight with me and when I won't give it to them they react badly. Anyway, any advice on this would be great. If you have it. Please don't force yourself to write something if you don't.
Okay, what else can we talk about... I spend far too much of my life at Tir Na Nog. I blame Karen. They make great fries but I think I made myself sick with all the cider I've been drinking so I'm gonna hold off. Who knew fermented apple juice wasn't good for you? I met some great new people last night, some of whom live in Astoria. YAY! New neighbor friends. Why don't you all just move to Astoriaalready so I have people to do brunch with? It's cool here. And cheaper than Manhattan. And not yet full of hipsters and we all KNOOOOOOOOOW how I feel about those freaking hipsters. Oh, you're a starving artist, huh? But your parents pay for you to live on Ludlow Street? Yeah, that's integrity right there.
My friend Leah is celebrating her birthday tonight at Arriba Arriba followed by beer and retardedness on the Upper East Side. What do I hate more than hipsters? Former frat boys who live in railroad rooms on the Upper East Side. I have some experience with this. They suck. I once had the poor judgement to date a guy who lived up there -- another "Daddy, can you send me a check" kind of guy who snorted most of his paycheck up his nose -- and he had like no furniture but he did have a Pop-a-Shot. Wedged in the corner. Of his tiny apartment. On East 91st Street. I don't know if you can picture this but it's retarded. He also never had any food and I don't think he owned dishes but he constantly had a bottle of Grey Goose in the freezer and chilled martini glasses at the ready. Actually, I thought that bit was a little funny.
Anyway, I always have fun with Leah so tonight should be fun. Because you can have a good time ANYWHERE if you are with your friends, right?
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
I'm not a giant pink rabbit
I'm home from work today and I just don't feel like talking about my sad and sorry life. Look at this funny picture I found instead...
This is me after a few drinks... you know, if I was climbing in the Italian Alps at the time. And I was a giant pink rabbit. Which, for those of you who haven't met me, I'm actually not.
You want to see something else I found that's funny? The fattest cat ever! Don't you kind of want to pick it up and squish it? He looks so mad, like he's thinking, "Put me down Japanese man. You're not the boss of me! I'm PHAT with a PH!" I always thought my friend Adriana had the fattest cat ever when we were in high school. His name was George and he was HUGE and not very friendly but she loved him and she used to get me Christmas presents and sign the card from him. He almost always got me socks.
I saw this article on MSN this morning. I have to say I am NOT ready for this movie. Does everyone else agree? It all happened like 5 years ago. I'm not ready to see a movie about it. I'm just not. Victims' families have already seen the movie and most of them are very supportive of it. But, I don't know, it's all too weird for me. It's not history for me yet. I don't know if that makes sense. Oliver Stone is making a movie about it, too. It's kind of freaking me out.
This is me after a few drinks... you know, if I was climbing in the Italian Alps at the time. And I was a giant pink rabbit. Which, for those of you who haven't met me, I'm actually not.
You want to see something else I found that's funny? The fattest cat ever! Don't you kind of want to pick it up and squish it? He looks so mad, like he's thinking, "Put me down Japanese man. You're not the boss of me! I'm PHAT with a PH!" I always thought my friend Adriana had the fattest cat ever when we were in high school. His name was George and he was HUGE and not very friendly but she loved him and she used to get me Christmas presents and sign the card from him. He almost always got me socks.
I saw this article on MSN this morning. I have to say I am NOT ready for this movie. Does everyone else agree? It all happened like 5 years ago. I'm not ready to see a movie about it. I'm just not. Victims' families have already seen the movie and most of them are very supportive of it. But, I don't know, it's all too weird for me. It's not history for me yet. I don't know if that makes sense. Oliver Stone is making a movie about it, too. It's kind of freaking me out.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Reasonable hour
Due to some questionable activity from our neighbors, large water bugs have invaded our apartment. So I cleaned my whole apartment today in preparation for the arrival of the exterminator tomorrow morning. I'm so tired. Sigh. Thank goodness for Magner's Cider. Makes everything seem less icky.
What have I done lately that you might want to hear about? Let me think... I went to CB's to hear Chris' band on Tuesday night. Without any of you people, I'd like to add! I feel like I know all the According to Wendy songs now so sometimes I sing along. Some girl asked me if I was Wendy. I told her that Wendy is Chris' imaginary friend at which point she got up and moved away from me. The hat in the photo on my profile belongs to Chris now. It made him so much happier than it ever made me. So I'm in the market for a new white trash/goes-well-with-a-wifebeater hat. Any suggestions?
Chris' friend Jason came out, too. Apparently the last time I saw him I called him an "asshole" but I don't remember it. Ain't I charming? I felt bad enough to buy him a Red Stripe or two and he then convinced me that it was a bad idea to steal a big framed photo of Debbie Harry from off the wall.
Last night I had to go to a cocktail thingy at the Marlborough Gallery. The best thing I can say about that is it was quick and there was free champagne and cheese straws. Then I went to Tir Na Nog to watch three different sporting events at one time. The Yankees lost but Jenny (my friend the Met fan) was kind enough not to rub it in and she also inspired me to go home and download some Digable Planets. So shout out to Jenny! She's a cutie.
The Rangers lost, too -- SHOCKING -- and I don't know how the basketball game ended because... this is going to knock you off your chairs -- I decided to be responsible and come home at a REASONABLE HOUR. Now you may be saying, "Louise, I didn't know you were familiar with the phrase 'reasonable hour'? Where did you acquire this new knowledge?" Well, dear friends and random strangers who read my blog, I heard someone say it at work one day and then randomly I heard another person say it. And then another and another. They always seemed to say it right before they put down their empty glass and left a party or other social engagement at which alcohol was served. Then they ACTUALLY LEFT. What I noticed next was that these same people, the next time I saw them, were not at bleary-eyed and falling over their own shoes as I most likely was at that same moment. Through the powers of deductive reasoning I came to the conclusion that somehow putting down your glass and going home after invoking the magic "REASONABLE HOUR" phrase led to a lesser likelihood of vomiting on your neighbors' front walk and/or going to work the next morning with your shirt on inside out. So far it seems to be working out that way.
I have no plans tonight because I am at war with the insects. But tomorrow night I have to go to this jazz thing. A Edouard Glissant is being honored. It should be interesting.
Yankees are doing reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly well right now so I gotta go pay attention. Truthfully I'm going to watch the hot relief pitcher, Kyle Farnsworth. He's so freaking cute -- his teeth are so white they're like freaking piano keys.
If anyone goes out this weekend, give me a holler, okay?
What have I done lately that you might want to hear about? Let me think... I went to CB's to hear Chris' band on Tuesday night. Without any of you people, I'd like to add! I feel like I know all the According to Wendy songs now so sometimes I sing along. Some girl asked me if I was Wendy. I told her that Wendy is Chris' imaginary friend at which point she got up and moved away from me. The hat in the photo on my profile belongs to Chris now. It made him so much happier than it ever made me. So I'm in the market for a new white trash/goes-well-with-a-wifebeater hat. Any suggestions?
Chris' friend Jason came out, too. Apparently the last time I saw him I called him an "asshole" but I don't remember it. Ain't I charming? I felt bad enough to buy him a Red Stripe or two and he then convinced me that it was a bad idea to steal a big framed photo of Debbie Harry from off the wall.
Last night I had to go to a cocktail thingy at the Marlborough Gallery. The best thing I can say about that is it was quick and there was free champagne and cheese straws. Then I went to Tir Na Nog to watch three different sporting events at one time. The Yankees lost but Jenny (my friend the Met fan) was kind enough not to rub it in and she also inspired me to go home and download some Digable Planets. So shout out to Jenny! She's a cutie.
The Rangers lost, too -- SHOCKING -- and I don't know how the basketball game ended because... this is going to knock you off your chairs -- I decided to be responsible and come home at a REASONABLE HOUR. Now you may be saying, "Louise, I didn't know you were familiar with the phrase 'reasonable hour'? Where did you acquire this new knowledge?" Well, dear friends and random strangers who read my blog, I heard someone say it at work one day and then randomly I heard another person say it. And then another and another. They always seemed to say it right before they put down their empty glass and left a party or other social engagement at which alcohol was served. Then they ACTUALLY LEFT. What I noticed next was that these same people, the next time I saw them, were not at bleary-eyed and falling over their own shoes as I most likely was at that same moment. Through the powers of deductive reasoning I came to the conclusion that somehow putting down your glass and going home after invoking the magic "REASONABLE HOUR" phrase led to a lesser likelihood of vomiting on your neighbors' front walk and/or going to work the next morning with your shirt on inside out. So far it seems to be working out that way.
I have no plans tonight because I am at war with the insects. But tomorrow night I have to go to this jazz thing. A Edouard Glissant is being honored. It should be interesting.
Yankees are doing reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly well right now so I gotta go pay attention. Truthfully I'm going to watch the hot relief pitcher, Kyle Farnsworth. He's so freaking cute -- his teeth are so white they're like freaking piano keys.
If anyone goes out this weekend, give me a holler, okay?
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Canoodling
NOTE TO READERS: I have been questioned about my use of CAPITAL LETTERS and mullllllllllltiple letters in the middle of words. The capital letters would denote a stress on that particular word as in "What kind of JACKASS can't figure out what that means?" and the extra letters in a word means that I have enlongated the pronunciation of that word, as in "I am toooootally not being sarcastic right now." Please read on accordingly.
Interesting tidbit in Metro today, the paper for cheap people on the go. Denise Richards was spotted "canoodling" with Richie Sambora, who just ended his marriage to her friend Heather Locklear. She dumped him when she found nude pictures of his assistant in his email inbox. (I think the real reason is that all of her face lifts are starting to make her look like a petrified Chihuahua dog and HE is a 46 year old man with bangs. I mean come on now!) That is not that interesting of a piece of gossip except that I KNEW ABOUT IT YESTERDAY! I love that! I had drinks with a journalist who shall remain nameless for a gossip/celebrity publication that shall also remain nameless and he told me. I like being the first to know. Although knowing said nameless journalist (his codename is "Confectionary") he probably told his roommates and several other people before he told me. Ah, well! Side note I would like to become famous enough one day that I will be caught canoodling with someone and it will matter. I don't think you can officially get caught canoodling unless you are famous anyway. If you're not famous its just calling making out.
Other interesting tidbit that was garnered at the same drinks extravaganza from another nameless source. One of the stars of a hit Showtime show is... wait for it... a total loony bitch! I won't say who and I won't say what show other than to say the title of the show rhymes with "NEEDS". Apparently several people that nameless source (code name "Precious Moments Doll") knows at Showtime fall into the total loony bitch category. But not my girl KM. I love love love her. Maybe I will become famous and be spotted canoodling with her? D'ya think?
So tonight I am probably not doing very much although my According to Wendy is at CBs Lounge at 9:00. If anyone wants to go let me know and I'll do my very best to meet you there. I had to wear fancy grown-up clothes today cuz I have a meeting with other grown-ups and they dont really know I'm a retard. Well, they probbbbbbbbbbbbbably know they're just too polite and grown-up to say anything.
Interesting tidbit in Metro today, the paper for cheap people on the go. Denise Richards was spotted "canoodling" with Richie Sambora, who just ended his marriage to her friend Heather Locklear. She dumped him when she found nude pictures of his assistant in his email inbox. (I think the real reason is that all of her face lifts are starting to make her look like a petrified Chihuahua dog and HE is a 46 year old man with bangs. I mean come on now!) That is not that interesting of a piece of gossip except that I KNEW ABOUT IT YESTERDAY! I love that! I had drinks with a journalist who shall remain nameless for a gossip/celebrity publication that shall also remain nameless and he told me. I like being the first to know. Although knowing said nameless journalist (his codename is "Confectionary") he probably told his roommates and several other people before he told me. Ah, well! Side note I would like to become famous enough one day that I will be caught canoodling with someone and it will matter. I don't think you can officially get caught canoodling unless you are famous anyway. If you're not famous its just calling making out.
Other interesting tidbit that was garnered at the same drinks extravaganza from another nameless source. One of the stars of a hit Showtime show is... wait for it... a total loony bitch! I won't say who and I won't say what show other than to say the title of the show rhymes with "NEEDS". Apparently several people that nameless source (code name "Precious Moments Doll") knows at Showtime fall into the total loony bitch category. But not my girl KM. I love love love her. Maybe I will become famous and be spotted canoodling with her? D'ya think?
So tonight I am probably not doing very much although my According to Wendy is at CBs Lounge at 9:00. If anyone wants to go let me know and I'll do my very best to meet you there. I had to wear fancy grown-up clothes today cuz I have a meeting with other grown-ups and they dont really know I'm a retard. Well, they probbbbbbbbbbbbbably know they're just too polite and grown-up to say anything.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Helga escaped
Remember how I said I would never move to Boston because of the Red Sox? Um... Boston might be in the running after all. Give me a call if you want to hear more about this.
What have I done today besides numb my brain with more press releases about The Da Vinci Code. (By the way I HAVE to go see this for work so if anyone wants to come with it opens May 19.)
Let me think, let me think... Something interesting to tell you all.... hmmmm....Oh! I got it! I walked down Madison Avenue with a good portion of my boob hanging out of my shirt this afternoon. Many, many men were smiling at me as I walked to lunch and I did not know why. It is because they had made eye contact with Helga -- of Helga & Olga fame, otherwise known as "the girls" or "the twins" or "the bumps under my shirt that shall remain nameless." It was a fun moment for me at the Korean deli when I realized she had escaped. It was an even more fun moment for the guy behind the counter.
I have absolutely nothing else to report. The only thing even remotely interesting that I read in the paper today was that the 20th Anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster is coming up this week. Did you know that Chernobyl is still up and running as a nuclear power plant? No one lives there and everyone who works there has to be hermetically sealed and then unsealed every morning and evening, but it's still there. This tidbit of information is courtesy of my friend Grant who scared the hell out of me last week by screaming my name while riding by on his bicycle in Astoria and then stopped to talk to me about Earth Day and Chernobyl. Hi Grant! Let's go to Starlight next week, 'kay?
What have I done today besides numb my brain with more press releases about The Da Vinci Code. (By the way I HAVE to go see this for work so if anyone wants to come with it opens May 19.)
Let me think, let me think... Something interesting to tell you all.... hmmmm....Oh! I got it! I walked down Madison Avenue with a good portion of my boob hanging out of my shirt this afternoon. Many, many men were smiling at me as I walked to lunch and I did not know why. It is because they had made eye contact with Helga -- of Helga & Olga fame, otherwise known as "the girls" or "the twins" or "the bumps under my shirt that shall remain nameless." It was a fun moment for me at the Korean deli when I realized she had escaped. It was an even more fun moment for the guy behind the counter.
I have absolutely nothing else to report. The only thing even remotely interesting that I read in the paper today was that the 20th Anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster is coming up this week. Did you know that Chernobyl is still up and running as a nuclear power plant? No one lives there and everyone who works there has to be hermetically sealed and then unsealed every morning and evening, but it's still there. This tidbit of information is courtesy of my friend Grant who scared the hell out of me last week by screaming my name while riding by on his bicycle in Astoria and then stopped to talk to me about Earth Day and Chernobyl. Hi Grant! Let's go to Starlight next week, 'kay?
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Suri pickpocket
The Yankees won today. Woo hoo! My friend Karen came to the game with us in lieu of my mom, who wasn't really feeling well. Karen lives within walking distance of Yankee Stadium. I think if I could walk to the ballpark I might buy season tickets just for the sake of convenience. Anyway, they won 7-1. Giambi hit 2 home runs and a double -- without steroids, thank you very much. The Phoenix Suns won as well, which means the Lakers didn't and that is good enough for me.
Does anyone like Chloe Sevigny? I am struck by how pretty her eyelashes are but that's pretty much it. She's on this new show Big Love that is kind of like a train wreck. It's about polygamy, which is undeniably fascinating. For those of us who are not sure we want to get married one time, the idea that someone would want to be married three times (if they're a guy) or have to deal with your husband having multiple wives and children -- well it's a little mindblowing. Although it would help to not have to have sex with your husband during your period or when you have a migraine. You can just tell one of the other wives to do it. Anyway, Chloe Sevigny. She's freaky.
So Tom Cruise named his baby the wrong thing. Shock upon shock, the man's a moron. Apparently, Suri does not mean “princess” or whatever they thought it meant and it is not Hebrew since most Israelis questioned never heard of it, although today a story came out saying that it means “get out of here”. It can be seen as a nickname for Sarah, which is the female version of Sar which means "cabinet minister." So poetic. It is also a derivative of an Egyptian male name, something having to do with the Sun God. He's so worried about people knowing he's gay and yet he's given his daughter her drag king name at birth. How convenient! My sister told me she heard that it means "pickpocket" in Japan. I love that one the most because it’s so random. In other TomKat news, someone had to call Katie Holmes' family to tell them she had a baby. They were happy to get the call. They said they had been out of the loop because there was no cell phone signal near the rock they were living under but they were going to call Verizon and get that squared right away.
Does anyone like Chloe Sevigny? I am struck by how pretty her eyelashes are but that's pretty much it. She's on this new show Big Love that is kind of like a train wreck. It's about polygamy, which is undeniably fascinating. For those of us who are not sure we want to get married one time, the idea that someone would want to be married three times (if they're a guy) or have to deal with your husband having multiple wives and children -- well it's a little mindblowing. Although it would help to not have to have sex with your husband during your period or when you have a migraine. You can just tell one of the other wives to do it. Anyway, Chloe Sevigny. She's freaky.
So Tom Cruise named his baby the wrong thing. Shock upon shock, the man's a moron. Apparently, Suri does not mean “princess” or whatever they thought it meant and it is not Hebrew since most Israelis questioned never heard of it, although today a story came out saying that it means “get out of here”. It can be seen as a nickname for Sarah, which is the female version of Sar which means "cabinet minister." So poetic. It is also a derivative of an Egyptian male name, something having to do with the Sun God. He's so worried about people knowing he's gay and yet he's given his daughter her drag king name at birth. How convenient! My sister told me she heard that it means "pickpocket" in Japan. I love that one the most because it’s so random. In other TomKat news, someone had to call Katie Holmes' family to tell them she had a baby. They were happy to get the call. They said they had been out of the loop because there was no cell phone signal near the rock they were living under but they were going to call Verizon and get that squared right away.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Confessions of a dangerous mind... sort of
Not hungover today even though I went out last night. Still, I stayed in all day. I wanted to go to a poetry reading this afternoon but it had the audacity to rain. The nerve! I just cannot take rain today. Rain on my head. Carrying an umbrella. Ugh. No, no, no -- not today.
I have decided to compile a list of things that I am embarassed about but can't seem to do anything to change.
1) I always have dirty laundry. The hamper is never empty. Never. I have more clothes than a department store, most of which I should just give up on already. I have clothes in like 4 different sizes and I have several pairs of vintage bell bottoms that are never coming back into fashion. In essence I have too much clothes and I don't do laundry often enough.
2) I stack things. Namely mail. There is a mountain of it on my kitchen table. There is also a mountain of books in a corner and a mountain of magazines on my coffee table. And let's not forget the mountain of jackets. I have no hall closet in this apartment so I have been saying for close to 8 months now that I was going to go buy a wardrobe for the living room to put my jackets in. Right now they are just stacked on a chair. I kid you not. This leads me to another confession -- that I procrastinate. But who doesn't do that?
3) I watch the same movies over and over and over. No one should have seen Mean Girls as many times as I have. Let's not even get started on Moonstruck which I finally bought on DVD and am about to watch again. To be followed by Kissing Jessica Stein. And then possibly Season 1 of The L Word. I might switch up the order or throw GoodFellas in there but probably not. It will most likely be the vagina film festival -- all sappy stuff with romance and/or girl-on-girl action. If only I liked porn. But I don't.
4) I am currently not calling someone back. Not because I don't like her. I am just afraid to call her. What should I do, readers? Why am I afraid?
If I think of anything else to confess I will let you know. It's good getting this heavy stuff off of my chest.
I have decided to compile a list of things that I am embarassed about but can't seem to do anything to change.
1) I always have dirty laundry. The hamper is never empty. Never. I have more clothes than a department store, most of which I should just give up on already. I have clothes in like 4 different sizes and I have several pairs of vintage bell bottoms that are never coming back into fashion. In essence I have too much clothes and I don't do laundry often enough.
2) I stack things. Namely mail. There is a mountain of it on my kitchen table. There is also a mountain of books in a corner and a mountain of magazines on my coffee table. And let's not forget the mountain of jackets. I have no hall closet in this apartment so I have been saying for close to 8 months now that I was going to go buy a wardrobe for the living room to put my jackets in. Right now they are just stacked on a chair. I kid you not. This leads me to another confession -- that I procrastinate. But who doesn't do that?
3) I watch the same movies over and over and over. No one should have seen Mean Girls as many times as I have. Let's not even get started on Moonstruck which I finally bought on DVD and am about to watch again. To be followed by Kissing Jessica Stein. And then possibly Season 1 of The L Word. I might switch up the order or throw GoodFellas in there but probably not. It will most likely be the vagina film festival -- all sappy stuff with romance and/or girl-on-girl action. If only I liked porn. But I don't.
4) I am currently not calling someone back. Not because I don't like her. I am just afraid to call her. What should I do, readers? Why am I afraid?
If I think of anything else to confess I will let you know. It's good getting this heavy stuff off of my chest.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Supa smaht
I went out with some friends last night. So much for not drinking. There was vomit on my neighbors' front walk this morning. I swear I have no idea how it got there. The DJ at Henrietta Hudson totally knows how to play music that will make someone dance like a retard. Not me, of course. But other people. Righhhhhhhhhhtttt....
I had to get up this morning and go to a press event. I didn't set my alarm. Well, I did. But I set it for 9:00 pm instead of am. Because I do be supa smaht. The event was great, though. It was at Brasserie Julien which is owned by this phenomenal guy, Philippe. Everyone should go there. They make cool cocktails (none of which I had, thank you very much, because I was WORKING. I mean really, what do you take me for?) and this dessert that is basically really thick chocolate mousse that he cuts into little square slices. It's so good!
I decided the best way to cure myself of my hangover was to walk 50 blocks to go meet my mom down in Murray Hill. It was so beautiful out today! Actually the 50 blocks kind of flew by. Plus, my friend who lives in Bordeaux called while I was walking so it was fun to catch up with her. And someone else called who I just met and am therefore not ready to talk about but who is very very cute. And I ran into a girl I haven't seen in forever and we made tentative plans to "do lunch". And I saw my friend's sister, who I haven't seen in a while either. Third Avenue on a sunny day is apparently that ubiquitous place people are always talking about where you will see everyone you ever met if you just stay there long enough. I also got some work done via Katherine at the office. Walking long distances in Manhattan with a cell phone -- you can get a lot done.
I had to get up this morning and go to a press event. I didn't set my alarm. Well, I did. But I set it for 9:00 pm instead of am. Because I do be supa smaht. The event was great, though. It was at Brasserie Julien which is owned by this phenomenal guy, Philippe. Everyone should go there. They make cool cocktails (none of which I had, thank you very much, because I was WORKING. I mean really, what do you take me for?) and this dessert that is basically really thick chocolate mousse that he cuts into little square slices. It's so good!
I decided the best way to cure myself of my hangover was to walk 50 blocks to go meet my mom down in Murray Hill. It was so beautiful out today! Actually the 50 blocks kind of flew by. Plus, my friend who lives in Bordeaux called while I was walking so it was fun to catch up with her. And someone else called who I just met and am therefore not ready to talk about but who is very very cute. And I ran into a girl I haven't seen in forever and we made tentative plans to "do lunch". And I saw my friend's sister, who I haven't seen in a while either. Third Avenue on a sunny day is apparently that ubiquitous place people are always talking about where you will see everyone you ever met if you just stay there long enough. I also got some work done via Katherine at the office. Walking long distances in Manhattan with a cell phone -- you can get a lot done.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Sodey pop for me
I decided to wake up early today even though it is my day off so I could get some work done on my writing. I can't decide if the character in one of my stories should KNOW she's adopted. For some reason this decision is keeping me up at night and until I make it I can't continue the story. It's stuck. No one can really help with this decision, including The Gilmour Girls. But I'd rather watch The Gilmour Girls than think about this anymore. They could prove to be inspiring. You never know.
I'm so glad that more of you didn't show up to Dollar Drafts. Those of you who did saw the very worst version of me. Suffice it to say I have a temper. And I don't like 23 year-old marines. And that's about all I feel like saying right now. Forget the adoption question. Maybe I'll make the girl in my story someone who gets into a bar fight and decides to stop drinking.
I have to go to a networking event tonight at Mainland. Nothing there is a dollar so I should be fine. I think I am going to stick to sodey pop.
Meant to be Debbie Harry
I don't know if you guys heard about this incident. But just to be clear, it happened in St Maarten, not St. Martin. That is the touristy Dutch side of the island, not the cool French side that some of my friends were raised on. Just to be clear.
I watched the GLAAD Awards on LOGO this weekend, my favorite cable channel. Do you know why I love it? They show French movies about drag queens and really old episodes of The Real World. Remember when The Real World had to have like a gay person, a black person, an okie from the backwoods, etc. and they all had to try to get along and deal with their differences and try not to throw things at each other? Now everyone on that show is 12 going on 30 and they wear way too much make up and always manage to find a reason to run around the house naked after jumping in the hot tub with each other. Anyway, Kate Moennig attended the awards in New York but they DID NOT TELEVISE her presenting an award. Sigh.
The highlight from the awards was when one of the kids that was on my favorite show from last season, TransGeneration, proposed to his girlfriend on TV. It was so cute. I cried a little. I loved that show because I am amazed that someone could KNOW that they were born the wrong sex. They are so sure of it, so sure that they are willing to change their bodies, cut something off or take pills so something else changes shape -- they are willing to do this to become the person they think they should be. I'm pretty sure I was really meant to be Debbie Harry. But I'm not sure there is anything I can do about that.
GLAAD also honored Charlize Theron, who, I'm sorry, is the PRETTIEST PERSON EVER. She's just so pretty.
Dollar drafts at Third and Long tonight guys. Who's coming? I was off today (I did fuck all, I swear) and tomorrow (when I will probably do pretty much the ame thing.) So I don't have to wake up early or anything. Everyone should come out and play with me, that's what I think.
I watched the GLAAD Awards on LOGO this weekend, my favorite cable channel. Do you know why I love it? They show French movies about drag queens and really old episodes of The Real World. Remember when The Real World had to have like a gay person, a black person, an okie from the backwoods, etc. and they all had to try to get along and deal with their differences and try not to throw things at each other? Now everyone on that show is 12 going on 30 and they wear way too much make up and always manage to find a reason to run around the house naked after jumping in the hot tub with each other. Anyway, Kate Moennig attended the awards in New York but they DID NOT TELEVISE her presenting an award. Sigh.
The highlight from the awards was when one of the kids that was on my favorite show from last season, TransGeneration, proposed to his girlfriend on TV. It was so cute. I cried a little. I loved that show because I am amazed that someone could KNOW that they were born the wrong sex. They are so sure of it, so sure that they are willing to change their bodies, cut something off or take pills so something else changes shape -- they are willing to do this to become the person they think they should be. I'm pretty sure I was really meant to be Debbie Harry. But I'm not sure there is anything I can do about that.
GLAAD also honored Charlize Theron, who, I'm sorry, is the PRETTIEST PERSON EVER. She's just so pretty.
Dollar drafts at Third and Long tonight guys. Who's coming? I was off today (I did fuck all, I swear) and tomorrow (when I will probably do pretty much the ame thing.) So I don't have to wake up early or anything. Everyone should come out and play with me, that's what I think.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Spinning children
Happy Easter everyone. Today is the day that I PURPOSELY give my nephews more chocolate than they can handle and then watch them spin like little tops until they fall on the ground. Actually, they usually end up fighting over something really important, like they both want to sit on the same end of the couch, and then their little testosterone-driven bodies force them to smack each other until one of them cries. Boys are weird.
I saw Friends with Money last night. It gave me a brand new reason to appreciate both the genius of and the duplicity of the movie marketing industry. Sometimes they cut a trailer to make a movie look more commercial. Actually, it was kind of an odd movie. But does everyone agree that even when Jennifer Aniston looks BAD she kind of looks like someone you would want to hang out with?
I then went to Continental. No, really, I did. I am not an NYU groupie who drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon but yes, I went there. To meet Abby. I paid $8 to hear her friend's band. He was pretty good -- he had an awesome voice. It was weird to not be 17 and be at Continental. So much of my life between the ages of 15 and 20 was spent in that bar and others like it, pretending I didn't mind that the heel of my shoe was stuck to inexplicable stickiness on the floor because whatever band I was there to see was worth it --- well, it was exhausting. But I liked the kind of guys that hung out there when I was that age. They all had that "look" -- you know, dirty hair, piercings in protruding parts of their bodies, beer bottle hanging out of side of their mouth. You know, the kind of guy that would give my mother immediate heart failure if I ever started dating him. I've outgrown all those guys now. It's amazing but somehow I've grown up but they've stayed the same age.
We ended up at Third and Long. A lot of nights I end up Third and Long. Abby told me that on Monday and Tuesday nights they have $1 drafts. So we're gonna go on Tuesday. Who wants to come?
I discovered this great site where you can look up song lyrics. I think they got some of them wrong. I hate when I hear a song the radio and I think I know the lyrics and I am so impressed with them and then I find out that what I thought they were singing is not what they were singing at all.
So I have to download new music for my MP3 player now. Here is what I am gonna be looking for. Basically my inspiration for downloading music is any song that I've heard recently in a bar or restaurant that made me say, "Oooh I love that song." Tell me what you guys think:
Sean Paul, "The Temperature"
Bruce Springsteen, "I'm on Fire"
Chris Issak, "Wicked Game"
Pussycat Dolls and Will.i.am, "Beep"
Social Distortion, "Story of My Life"
Indigo Girls, "Land of Canaan"
Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle"
Some songs by Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. (Have you guys heard of this band? Aren't they awesome?)
Later tonight I might be going to Radio Perfecto. It's in the East Village. If you want to come I promise to be ridiculous and drunk and throw my arms around you and tell you how much I love you and how glad I am that we are friends... even if I don't really know you that well.
I saw Friends with Money last night. It gave me a brand new reason to appreciate both the genius of and the duplicity of the movie marketing industry. Sometimes they cut a trailer to make a movie look more commercial. Actually, it was kind of an odd movie. But does everyone agree that even when Jennifer Aniston looks BAD she kind of looks like someone you would want to hang out with?
I then went to Continental. No, really, I did. I am not an NYU groupie who drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon but yes, I went there. To meet Abby. I paid $8 to hear her friend's band. He was pretty good -- he had an awesome voice. It was weird to not be 17 and be at Continental. So much of my life between the ages of 15 and 20 was spent in that bar and others like it, pretending I didn't mind that the heel of my shoe was stuck to inexplicable stickiness on the floor because whatever band I was there to see was worth it --- well, it was exhausting. But I liked the kind of guys that hung out there when I was that age. They all had that "look" -- you know, dirty hair, piercings in protruding parts of their bodies, beer bottle hanging out of side of their mouth. You know, the kind of guy that would give my mother immediate heart failure if I ever started dating him. I've outgrown all those guys now. It's amazing but somehow I've grown up but they've stayed the same age.
We ended up at Third and Long. A lot of nights I end up Third and Long. Abby told me that on Monday and Tuesday nights they have $1 drafts. So we're gonna go on Tuesday. Who wants to come?
I discovered this great site where you can look up song lyrics. I think they got some of them wrong. I hate when I hear a song the radio and I think I know the lyrics and I am so impressed with them and then I find out that what I thought they were singing is not what they were singing at all.
So I have to download new music for my MP3 player now. Here is what I am gonna be looking for. Basically my inspiration for downloading music is any song that I've heard recently in a bar or restaurant that made me say, "Oooh I love that song." Tell me what you guys think:
Sean Paul, "The Temperature"
Bruce Springsteen, "I'm on Fire"
Chris Issak, "Wicked Game"
Pussycat Dolls and Will.i.am, "Beep"
Social Distortion, "Story of My Life"
Indigo Girls, "Land of Canaan"
Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle"
Some songs by Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. (Have you guys heard of this band? Aren't they awesome?)
Later tonight I might be going to Radio Perfecto. It's in the East Village. If you want to come I promise to be ridiculous and drunk and throw my arms around you and tell you how much I love you and how glad I am that we are friends... even if I don't really know you that well.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Don't stop till you get enough
I spend a good portion of these hungover moments listening to music like this. Is it bad that I am tempted to spend the $1.99 just so I can own that video? I miss those days. When I would dance around my living room with my sister to Off the Wall. Remember when Michael Jackson was black? And cute? And talented? Those were the days.
Crash Mansion was fun. It turns out that they do that free drinks thing a lot. I still credit Abby for inviting us, though. Anyway, how it works is you get free vodka drinks from 9:00-10:00 pm. For $10 you get free drinks, not just vodka, from 9:00-11:00 pm. In return, you are required to scream at your friends over the din of bands who THINK they're The Strokes. Abby's friend's band was pretty good, though. From what I could tell. All that well vodka pretty much did me in. Hi to Abby's friend, Leigh. It was nice to meet you!
The Irish bouncer basically proved to me that I am not a lesbian. 'Cuz I thought he was cute. Ah, inner conflict. Good times. He was kind of smart. The girl who sold the wrist bands was saying she was going to Paris by herself and is that weird? And I said, no, I go alone all the time. (I work for the French so they send me over there for work and I don't ever have friends with me except the ones who live there.) This started him on a rant about French politics, which he knew a lot about, surprisingly, considering he was from Dublin. See how the French bring people together?
Today is Holy Saturday. According to this website Holy Saturday should be the "quietest night of the year." Whoever wrote this doesn't know my family. On my Mom's side we're Italian so we celebrate every day even remotely associated with Christ. And we eat some weird spaghetti pie. It has something to do with breaking the Lenten fast by eating lots of carbohydrates. I don't know. I think I just made that up. Anyway, I have to see my family today is the point. I kind of would rather go out.
My friend Stephanie is having a party later tonight. Anyone wanna come with me? She said I could bring people. She didn't specify strangers from Friendster and MySpace, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind.
Crash Mansion was fun. It turns out that they do that free drinks thing a lot. I still credit Abby for inviting us, though. Anyway, how it works is you get free vodka drinks from 9:00-10:00 pm. For $10 you get free drinks, not just vodka, from 9:00-11:00 pm. In return, you are required to scream at your friends over the din of bands who THINK they're The Strokes. Abby's friend's band was pretty good, though. From what I could tell. All that well vodka pretty much did me in. Hi to Abby's friend, Leigh. It was nice to meet you!
The Irish bouncer basically proved to me that I am not a lesbian. 'Cuz I thought he was cute. Ah, inner conflict. Good times. He was kind of smart. The girl who sold the wrist bands was saying she was going to Paris by herself and is that weird? And I said, no, I go alone all the time. (I work for the French so they send me over there for work and I don't ever have friends with me except the ones who live there.) This started him on a rant about French politics, which he knew a lot about, surprisingly, considering he was from Dublin. See how the French bring people together?
Today is Holy Saturday. According to this website Holy Saturday should be the "quietest night of the year." Whoever wrote this doesn't know my family. On my Mom's side we're Italian so we celebrate every day even remotely associated with Christ. And we eat some weird spaghetti pie. It has something to do with breaking the Lenten fast by eating lots of carbohydrates. I don't know. I think I just made that up. Anyway, I have to see my family today is the point. I kind of would rather go out.
My friend Stephanie is having a party later tonight. Anyone wanna come with me? She said I could bring people. She didn't specify strangers from Friendster and MySpace, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Gotta pee
EW! Did everyone hear about this? http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/04/04/homeland.arrest/index.html. I'm a little behind in my news absorption lately so bear with me. Could this guy BE any sicker? I don't think so.
I'm headed to Crash Mansion tonight. Who's coming with? My friend Abby's friend is playing a gig there and she set it up for us to get free drinks because she is, like, fifty shades of nifty!
Do you guys remember my blog about the guy on the subway? Well, this beats that... http://besotted.typepad.com/besotted/2006/04/reason_6429_why.html. And, I'm sorry to tell you this, Chris, but it beats you asking for numbers on the L train, too.
Okay, I have to pee because I drink sixty glasses of water a day and we had wine at work. So I'm cutting this short. I promise to write something funny about being hungover and pathetic tomorrow.
I'm headed to Crash Mansion tonight. Who's coming with? My friend Abby's friend is playing a gig there and she set it up for us to get free drinks because she is, like, fifty shades of nifty!
Do you guys remember my blog about the guy on the subway? Well, this beats that... http://besotted.typepad.com/besotted/2006/04/reason_6429_why.html. And, I'm sorry to tell you this, Chris, but it beats you asking for numbers on the L train, too.
Okay, I have to pee because I drink sixty glasses of water a day and we had wine at work. So I'm cutting this short. I promise to write something funny about being hungover and pathetic tomorrow.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Boy crisis
Articles like this one in the Washington Post really piss me off. Apparently boys are falling behind academically and something must be done. Right. Because all those years that girls were "falling behind" (read: being ignored in any academic situation that didn't involve poetry or home economics) no one seemed to be quite as upset about it. But now, people are proposing a "complete overhaul of American education based on gender, saying that boys are wired differently from girls". Apparently boys "are at a disadvantage in the many classrooms headed by female teachers, who are supposedly hostile to their sex." The author of this piece does not seem to agree with these proposals and neither do I. She seems to think the trouble is apparent in poorer, racially diverse groups than in the middle- and upper-class groups of white boys, which makes sense to me, because according to research -- uh, duh -- people with more money and lighter skin have access to better schools and stronger resources. But this article in Newsweek seems to says that boys across the board have it rough. Aw. The poor dears.
These so-called experts want to institute a different form of education for boys, one with concentrations in "boy" things, like military training and/or sports. Seriously. As if to say boys CAN'T handle academics because they're wired differently. So give them a break. They need to be in a masculine environment to succeed. Don't EVEN get me started on this.
It's funny -- historically, men have spent a great deal of time and energy proclaiming their own greatness, their superiority. There was even a time when men thought it was a scientifically valid argument that they had larger brains than women. (I think they were operating under the wrong definition for "brain" myself.) Now, it is like they are saying, "Wah wah, no fair. We're not doing as well. Something must be wrong."
Meanwhile, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it seem white men have never had it better than they do right now? Not all men but definitely privileged white men. I mean between insider trading, stock scandals and stolen elections, white men don't seem to be suffering because their female counterparts are suddenly excelling in school.
And one of these days someone has GOT to smack Laura Bush upside the head. How someone with 2 daughters -- 2 daughters who could use a little more parental attention, if you ask me, if nothing more than to teach them how to dress and hold their liquor -- can make a statement about "turning her attention to the problem of boys" is beyond me.
I have nephews. And I love them. But I worry sometimes that they are growing up in a world that says it is okay to whine about thing being unfair when things don't go your way. Which is what these articles are doing. Whether the writers in question agree or disagree with this phenomenon, writing articles about it gives it validity as a news story. Suddenly girls are succeeding academically -- or I don't think its so sudden because the smartest kids in my grammar school were always girls -- and there must be something wrong. It must be because academics are skewed against boys, or boys are wired differently so we have to give them different goals. If girls had tried to pull this shit, we would be seen as whiny, weak, inferior. As if we couldn't tough it out.
I'm not saying that if I had a son I wouldn't want him to do well. I would probably hope that he did better than everyone. That's what loving your kids is about, I imagine. But I don't think the world should change every time some group decides they're disadvantaged. Disadvantages are racial prejudices, poverty -- not "Mary did better than me on the SATs. Mom, Dad, let's sue the school". (A high school student in Massachusetts is actually suing his high school). I mean Albert Einstein went to school with girls, Thomas Edison went to school with girls, Jonas Salk went to school with girls. And their parents didn't read this book. Granted when they went to school, it was the girls' parents who could have used a book like that.
Okay, I'm done with this rant. Suggestion for the day -- I know that Barnes & Noble and Amazon are super convenient, but if you live in New York, try to shop at independent bookstores? It's no secret they're disappearing. But there are some great ones left -- like McNally Robinson. I go to readings there sometimes if you guys want to come with.
These so-called experts want to institute a different form of education for boys, one with concentrations in "boy" things, like military training and/or sports. Seriously. As if to say boys CAN'T handle academics because they're wired differently. So give them a break. They need to be in a masculine environment to succeed. Don't EVEN get me started on this.
It's funny -- historically, men have spent a great deal of time and energy proclaiming their own greatness, their superiority. There was even a time when men thought it was a scientifically valid argument that they had larger brains than women. (I think they were operating under the wrong definition for "brain" myself.) Now, it is like they are saying, "Wah wah, no fair. We're not doing as well. Something must be wrong."
Meanwhile, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it seem white men have never had it better than they do right now? Not all men but definitely privileged white men. I mean between insider trading, stock scandals and stolen elections, white men don't seem to be suffering because their female counterparts are suddenly excelling in school.
And one of these days someone has GOT to smack Laura Bush upside the head. How someone with 2 daughters -- 2 daughters who could use a little more parental attention, if you ask me, if nothing more than to teach them how to dress and hold their liquor -- can make a statement about "turning her attention to the problem of boys" is beyond me.
I have nephews. And I love them. But I worry sometimes that they are growing up in a world that says it is okay to whine about thing being unfair when things don't go your way. Which is what these articles are doing. Whether the writers in question agree or disagree with this phenomenon, writing articles about it gives it validity as a news story. Suddenly girls are succeeding academically -- or I don't think its so sudden because the smartest kids in my grammar school were always girls -- and there must be something wrong. It must be because academics are skewed against boys, or boys are wired differently so we have to give them different goals. If girls had tried to pull this shit, we would be seen as whiny, weak, inferior. As if we couldn't tough it out.
I'm not saying that if I had a son I wouldn't want him to do well. I would probably hope that he did better than everyone. That's what loving your kids is about, I imagine. But I don't think the world should change every time some group decides they're disadvantaged. Disadvantages are racial prejudices, poverty -- not "Mary did better than me on the SATs. Mom, Dad, let's sue the school". (A high school student in Massachusetts is actually suing his high school). I mean Albert Einstein went to school with girls, Thomas Edison went to school with girls, Jonas Salk went to school with girls. And their parents didn't read this book. Granted when they went to school, it was the girls' parents who could have used a book like that.
Okay, I'm done with this rant. Suggestion for the day -- I know that Barnes & Noble and Amazon are super convenient, but if you live in New York, try to shop at independent bookstores? It's no secret they're disappearing. But there are some great ones left -- like McNally Robinson. I go to readings there sometimes if you guys want to come with.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Apathetic nation
The Pew Research Center recently conducted a survey from a sample of 2,000 Americans to find out what political ideology they subscribe to. You're probably tempted to stop reading now because there were a lot of big words in that sentence but bear with me. Anyway, of the people they polled they asked them economic questions (Do you think the government should be more or less involved in business?) and social questions (Are you for or against the legalization of gay marriage?) The four political ideologies are Liberal, Conservative. Libertarian and Populist. 58% of the group were split into these four groups with Liberals being the largest group. (YAY!) That means that... brace yourself... 42% of the group, the largest portion, were APATHETIC. Meaning they didn't want to answer some of the questions or they didn't care enough to answer some of the questions. Does that not rock your world? Maybe not. Maybe you're one of the 42 percenters and you don't give a fuck about this blog.
If you're like me by the way and you are FOR the legalization of gay marriage and you are here in New York this info is for you.
Saturday, June 3: Wedding March across the Brooklyn Bridge organized by Marriage Equality/NY, meets in Cadman Plaza in Brooklyn at 11 a.m. for a rally prior to proceeding at noon to Battery Park in Manhattan for a picnic and performances.
Hope to see you there!I fyou don't stand up for gay marriage I may never be allowed to marry Katherine Moennig. And that would make me very sad.
If you're like me by the way and you are FOR the legalization of gay marriage and you are here in New York this info is for you.
Saturday, June 3: Wedding March across the Brooklyn Bridge organized by Marriage Equality/NY, meets in Cadman Plaza in Brooklyn at 11 a.m. for a rally prior to proceeding at noon to Battery Park in Manhattan for a picnic and performances.
Hope to see you there!I fyou don't stand up for gay marriage I may never be allowed to marry Katherine Moennig. And that would make me very sad.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Today's the day!
Today is the first day of the season that I will be spending at Yankee Stadium. Are you all excited for me? I'm excited. Beer and baseball... with my mother. She bought the tickets so she's coming. They were her Christmas gift to the family -- a series of season tickets. Not the whole season but it's enough. I got my Mattingly shirt on (my all-time favorite player) and I'm ready to get my drink on. If I tell you what games I got tickets for this season, you could try to get tickets, too and then we can all be drunk together screaming obscenities at the opposing team. Doesn't that sound fun!
Do you know what I forgot to tell you guys from last month when I got back from L.A.? I was at the bar at my hotel talking to some women who told me some fascinating stories about her life. (This is what people do in hotel bars.) Anyway, my friend Peter was on his way so it wasn't as sad as it sounds. I'm not just some loser in a hotel bar... not entirely anyway. I notice this guy sitting next to me and he looks so familiar. So finally I ask him if he's an actor. He says yes, he's been on Law & Order and a few other shows but that wouldn't be something I would remember. (The only person I remember guest-starring on Law & Order was Kate Moennig and we all know why that is.) But he has a southern accent and I knew that before he opened his mouth which kind of freaks me out. After he leaves I realize where I know him from.
I used to be obsessed with this documentary about child beauty pageants. It's like a freaking train wreck. Once you watch it you can't stop watching it. It's so horrific! Anyway, the beauty pagent coaches in this documentary are this gay couple, Shane & Michael. HE WAS ONE OF THEM! And I don't think he's really a gay beauty pagent coach. Because he was at the bar canoodling with a hot girl. Isn't that funny? No? It's sad that I recognized someone from this horrible documentary you say? Well, maybe... but ... I use my powers for constructive, non-pathetic things, too. I swear.
Do you know what I forgot to tell you guys from last month when I got back from L.A.? I was at the bar at my hotel talking to some women who told me some fascinating stories about her life. (This is what people do in hotel bars.) Anyway, my friend Peter was on his way so it wasn't as sad as it sounds. I'm not just some loser in a hotel bar... not entirely anyway. I notice this guy sitting next to me and he looks so familiar. So finally I ask him if he's an actor. He says yes, he's been on Law & Order and a few other shows but that wouldn't be something I would remember. (The only person I remember guest-starring on Law & Order was Kate Moennig and we all know why that is.) But he has a southern accent and I knew that before he opened his mouth which kind of freaks me out. After he leaves I realize where I know him from.
I used to be obsessed with this documentary about child beauty pageants. It's like a freaking train wreck. Once you watch it you can't stop watching it. It's so horrific! Anyway, the beauty pagent coaches in this documentary are this gay couple, Shane & Michael. HE WAS ONE OF THEM! And I don't think he's really a gay beauty pagent coach. Because he was at the bar canoodling with a hot girl. Isn't that funny? No? It's sad that I recognized someone from this horrible documentary you say? Well, maybe... but ... I use my powers for constructive, non-pathetic things, too. I swear.
Render unto Caesar
My friends Anne-Laure and Eylem had their baby last night. Gabrielle was born at 11:15 pm Sunday night. I met her this afternoon. She's so cute it's hard to believe she's a newborn. I'm so happy for them! It's amazing to me that my friend is now responsible for another human life. While I have no doubt she will be great at it, I am floored that her whole world has changed and she seems to be handling it with such aplomb.
Okay, unrelated -- I read this in the Times this weekend -- http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/09/opinion/09wills.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&incamp=article_popular. This op-ed kind of rocked my world because it basically verbalized a thought pattern that I forgot even existed. The point of it is that Christianity and politics cannot coexist not simply because of seperation of Church and State, but because they WERE NEVER MEANT TO COEXIST. Get it? Remember when Jesus (a tax paying citizen) said "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's"? Meaning they are seperate entities. Being a taxpayer, a law abiding member of society, a politician even, has nothing to do with being a Christian.
The other quote from the Bible in this piece is one that was beaten into my thick skull throughout my years in parochial school. It's from Matthew 6:5-6 -- "When you pray, be not like the pretenders, who prefer to pray in the synagogues and in the public square, in the sight of others. In truth I tell you, that is all the profit they will have. But you, when you pray, go into your inner chamber and, locking the door, pray there in hiding to your Father, and your Father who sees you in hiding will reward you." Meaning just because you make a big show out of being a Christian doesn't mean you know what it means, you big hypocrite. And see, what did I tell you? Christ doesn't want us to pray in school.
Lately, for completely unrelated reasons, I have been trying to keep some Christian thoughts at the forefront of my brain. I've been trying to remember the things I was taught as a child that did not thwart my development, the things that did not warp my judgement, the good stuff, you know? Sometimes God shows you something.
Saturday night a man came onto the 6 train that I was taking uptown to a reunion party that some girls from my high school were throwing (to which no one from my graduating class showed up, by the way.) This man came on the train. I kept listening to my MP3 player, wanting not to see him. He walked through the train asking for money. As he walked by me, I saw he had no shoes. His feet were dirty and gnarled and it was really cold out that night. And I started to cry. Not out loud or anything, just tears and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't look up because then he would see I was crying which would certainly make him feel worse about the fact that he has no shoes, that his clothes are stuffed with newspapers, that's he's asking for money on the subway, right? Even if he "put himself in that position" as some of my friends say to rationalize not giving money to homeless people, so what? The truth is he is standing in front of me with no shoes and not only do I have shoes but I have never known what it is like NOT to have shoes, not even when my mom was standing in line for government cheese back in the day.
I'm happy that I have lived in New York my entire life and the sight of someone with no shoes had an effect on me. I'm scared that I won't always see these people. I wonder if God puts these people in our way so that we will see them.
Anyway, it's interesting that this op-ed made it into the newspaper. I didn't imagine a lot of people would care about this but lots of blogs went out yesterday an today with people's reactions. I think a lot of these blogs missed the point but its cool that Christ is being discussed and NOT by the scary people -- meaning right wing, bigoted, using-Christ-as-a-shield-to-hide-their-own-discretions weirdos, people that I would be scared for little Gabrielle or my nephews or any of the other children I love to be exposed to. You know who you are.
Okey dokey, Christian rant OUT. Random Louise thoughts IN. Does anyone else liket the band Spoon? Amazing group. One of their songs has now made it into a car commercial, which disturbs me, but whatever.
In other interesting news, the V train just stopped running tonight because, according to our very well-informed conductor, "there's some problem with the tracks at... um... Grand Street... in Brooklyn... I mean in Queens." You wanna know what I think? I think there are gonna be LOTS of subway delays in the coming days because Roger Toussaint got jail time today. If ever a nimrod had something coming... Christian thoughts, Louise. Christian thoughts.
Okay, unrelated -- I read this in the Times this weekend -- http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/09/opinion/09wills.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&incamp=article_popular. This op-ed kind of rocked my world because it basically verbalized a thought pattern that I forgot even existed. The point of it is that Christianity and politics cannot coexist not simply because of seperation of Church and State, but because they WERE NEVER MEANT TO COEXIST. Get it? Remember when Jesus (a tax paying citizen) said "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's"? Meaning they are seperate entities. Being a taxpayer, a law abiding member of society, a politician even, has nothing to do with being a Christian.
The other quote from the Bible in this piece is one that was beaten into my thick skull throughout my years in parochial school. It's from Matthew 6:5-6 -- "When you pray, be not like the pretenders, who prefer to pray in the synagogues and in the public square, in the sight of others. In truth I tell you, that is all the profit they will have. But you, when you pray, go into your inner chamber and, locking the door, pray there in hiding to your Father, and your Father who sees you in hiding will reward you." Meaning just because you make a big show out of being a Christian doesn't mean you know what it means, you big hypocrite. And see, what did I tell you? Christ doesn't want us to pray in school.
Lately, for completely unrelated reasons, I have been trying to keep some Christian thoughts at the forefront of my brain. I've been trying to remember the things I was taught as a child that did not thwart my development, the things that did not warp my judgement, the good stuff, you know? Sometimes God shows you something.
Saturday night a man came onto the 6 train that I was taking uptown to a reunion party that some girls from my high school were throwing (to which no one from my graduating class showed up, by the way.) This man came on the train. I kept listening to my MP3 player, wanting not to see him. He walked through the train asking for money. As he walked by me, I saw he had no shoes. His feet were dirty and gnarled and it was really cold out that night. And I started to cry. Not out loud or anything, just tears and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't look up because then he would see I was crying which would certainly make him feel worse about the fact that he has no shoes, that his clothes are stuffed with newspapers, that's he's asking for money on the subway, right? Even if he "put himself in that position" as some of my friends say to rationalize not giving money to homeless people, so what? The truth is he is standing in front of me with no shoes and not only do I have shoes but I have never known what it is like NOT to have shoes, not even when my mom was standing in line for government cheese back in the day.
I'm happy that I have lived in New York my entire life and the sight of someone with no shoes had an effect on me. I'm scared that I won't always see these people. I wonder if God puts these people in our way so that we will see them.
Anyway, it's interesting that this op-ed made it into the newspaper. I didn't imagine a lot of people would care about this but lots of blogs went out yesterday an today with people's reactions. I think a lot of these blogs missed the point but its cool that Christ is being discussed and NOT by the scary people -- meaning right wing, bigoted, using-Christ-as-a-shield-to-hide-their-own-discretions weirdos, people that I would be scared for little Gabrielle or my nephews or any of the other children I love to be exposed to. You know who you are.
Okey dokey, Christian rant OUT. Random Louise thoughts IN. Does anyone else liket the band Spoon? Amazing group. One of their songs has now made it into a car commercial, which disturbs me, but whatever.
In other interesting news, the V train just stopped running tonight because, according to our very well-informed conductor, "there's some problem with the tracks at... um... Grand Street... in Brooklyn... I mean in Queens." You wanna know what I think? I think there are gonna be LOTS of subway delays in the coming days because Roger Toussaint got jail time today. If ever a nimrod had something coming... Christian thoughts, Louise. Christian thoughts.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Pink is not a lesbian
I don't think I've ever gotten over the fact that Pink is not a lesbian. It pisses me off a little bit because she would make such a GREAT one, don't you think? She's hot, she has great hair and she's such a cute little tough chick. Wasn't she into girls for a while or did I imagine that? Wasn't she caught making out with Kristanna Loken? Hold on, I'm going to google that. Yes, yes, I was right... http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2006150032,00.html. Anyway, it would have been cool if she'd turned out to be gay.
My friend Annie wants to set me up with a former heroin addict. Who thinks I should do it? She's only half serious. But apparently me an former junkie share a love of Ani DiFranco. I love bad asses anyway and I am also so into people who have enough self-realization to STOP damaging behavior. I mean how cool is that? And how many of us can't seem to do it?
I have two internet dates set up as well which I am pretty nervous about. Has everyone heard the story of my LAST internet date? Well, technically I met my ex-boyfriend on Friendster. But before that, like 1 year before, I met this guy on Nerve, which I still attest is the least creepy of the internet dating sites. Anyway, we agreed to meet in Brooklyn for some reason and he was super late which is a whole other story. But in the process of the date, he asks me if I was honest on my profile. I was like, "Yeah. I think I was." He tells me that he lied. I say, "What did you lie about?" And he says, "Rememeber that question that said 'Blank is sexy but blank is sexier." I say yeah, you were supposed to fill in the blanks. He says, "Well, I lied about mine. I don't remember what I wrote but I should have written 'Beating people up is sexy but choking them is sexier.'" Turns out this guy is into hardcore fetish S&M, specifically asphyxiation sex. I ask him what a girl says when he ask to choke her during sex? He says, "I don't ask them first." That was the end of the date. I actually ditched that guy on the subway. He was headed back to Astoria, as was I, and I told him that I was getting off at Ditmars, the last stop on the N train but really my stop was 39th Avenue, the first stop. So when the train got to my stop I booked, ran out the doors and watched them close in his face.
After our date, this sicko joined the Peace Corps. Funny, huh?
My friend Annie wants to set me up with a former heroin addict. Who thinks I should do it? She's only half serious. But apparently me an former junkie share a love of Ani DiFranco. I love bad asses anyway and I am also so into people who have enough self-realization to STOP damaging behavior. I mean how cool is that? And how many of us can't seem to do it?
I have two internet dates set up as well which I am pretty nervous about. Has everyone heard the story of my LAST internet date? Well, technically I met my ex-boyfriend on Friendster. But before that, like 1 year before, I met this guy on Nerve, which I still attest is the least creepy of the internet dating sites. Anyway, we agreed to meet in Brooklyn for some reason and he was super late which is a whole other story. But in the process of the date, he asks me if I was honest on my profile. I was like, "Yeah. I think I was." He tells me that he lied. I say, "What did you lie about?" And he says, "Rememeber that question that said 'Blank is sexy but blank is sexier." I say yeah, you were supposed to fill in the blanks. He says, "Well, I lied about mine. I don't remember what I wrote but I should have written 'Beating people up is sexy but choking them is sexier.'" Turns out this guy is into hardcore fetish S&M, specifically asphyxiation sex. I ask him what a girl says when he ask to choke her during sex? He says, "I don't ask them first." That was the end of the date. I actually ditched that guy on the subway. He was headed back to Astoria, as was I, and I told him that I was getting off at Ditmars, the last stop on the N train but really my stop was 39th Avenue, the first stop. So when the train got to my stop I booked, ran out the doors and watched them close in his face.
After our date, this sicko joined the Peace Corps. Funny, huh?
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Someone is sick of her
Is it bad that I still get so much enjoyment out of Felicity reruns. I think it is because I wish my college experience had been more like Felicity's. First of all, Felicity did not have as many people in her circle of friends coming out to her. Nearly every month one of my friends decided he was gay and he just HAD to come out to someone. Which depleted the already shallow dating pool at Hofstra by quite a bit every time. And there weren't any cute girls either.
Also, my "circle" was never quite as tight as Felicity's. I only had a group of friends twice in college -- once my freshman year, with a crowd of people who decided that we were St. Elmo's Fire. Then I pledged a sorority after I broke up with my boyfriend junior year. Other than that, I've never known what it's like to have a consistent circle of friends. My sister's theory is that because we're twins, we were born with our circle. And my mother's theory is that our family is so close that that is my circle. But I can't say I don't wish I knew what it was like to KNOW who I am going to invite if I get four tickets to a Yankee game or get free passes for a party. I consistently invite Jessica, but other than that I have dozens of people to choose from, all of whom have their own circles, circles that I just visit from time to time.
Anyway.... let's talk about something else. Is anyone else not particularly inspired by American Idol this season? I am kind of rooting for Paris or Katharine. Any opinions?
What does everyone think of all this trouble Jared Paul Stern is in? I bet it is pretty exciting for all of those PR people (not me, I represent a country, not a celebrity or anything, thank GOD) to see Page Six in trouble after all the agita they give publicists everywhere. But JPS is the author of one of my favorite all time quotes -- "Whenever you see a beautiful girl it pays to remember that someone, somewhere is sick of her." Don't you love that? He is the modern Walter Winchell who, if memory of history serves got himself in quite a bit of trouble in his day, too.
Also, my "circle" was never quite as tight as Felicity's. I only had a group of friends twice in college -- once my freshman year, with a crowd of people who decided that we were St. Elmo's Fire. Then I pledged a sorority after I broke up with my boyfriend junior year. Other than that, I've never known what it's like to have a consistent circle of friends. My sister's theory is that because we're twins, we were born with our circle. And my mother's theory is that our family is so close that that is my circle. But I can't say I don't wish I knew what it was like to KNOW who I am going to invite if I get four tickets to a Yankee game or get free passes for a party. I consistently invite Jessica, but other than that I have dozens of people to choose from, all of whom have their own circles, circles that I just visit from time to time.
Anyway.... let's talk about something else. Is anyone else not particularly inspired by American Idol this season? I am kind of rooting for Paris or Katharine. Any opinions?
What does everyone think of all this trouble Jared Paul Stern is in? I bet it is pretty exciting for all of those PR people (not me, I represent a country, not a celebrity or anything, thank GOD) to see Page Six in trouble after all the agita they give publicists everywhere. But JPS is the author of one of my favorite all time quotes -- "Whenever you see a beautiful girl it pays to remember that someone, somewhere is sick of her." Don't you love that? He is the modern Walter Winchell who, if memory of history serves got himself in quite a bit of trouble in his day, too.
Friday, April 07, 2006
That guy from Toto changed everything
I have the day off today so I have decided to spend it watching the Travel Channel and Food Network, both of which specialize in programming that relates to my job, therefore making my tax deduction on cable TV COUNT. I found out how much I owe yesterday. I really hope the IRS enjoys my first- and second-born children and raises them with the love and attention that I would.
My favorite show on The Travel Channel is called No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. He does not seem like the nicest person and yet I have a slight crush on him. There is something about self-confessed former junkies. They get me every time.
Speaking of people that I am oddly attracted to, the other night I had a meeting in Tribeca and I went around the corner to the oh-so-fancy Korean deli next to Nobu (Location, location, location people!) to pick up a greasy egg roll from the steamer table or a granola bar or something because I forgot to eat. (I keep doing that. Then I wind up at steamer tables at 9:00 at night. Not good.) Anyway, I am on the phone with my mom, as usual, and I look up and I see Eric Bogosian. At which point I say, "Hey, Mom, Eric Bogosian is here." He looks at me, plastic shopping basket over his arm. Then I say, "I didn't mean to say that out loud." "Yeah, but you did," he said. I decided I didn't need the granola bar and I went home.
I went out to see Chris' show the other night. The bar in front was playing VH1 Classic without the sound because there were, like, actual bands playing. Of course, there were many of us who would have preferred VH1 Classics. Not because of Chris -- him and Steve were great. But some of the others... well, a French horn player does NOT belong in a rock club. That's all I have to say. Two of the girls at the bar were very impressed because I was able to recognize the Toto video for "Rosanna" without the sound on. (This is not impressive so much as sad and indicative of my age.) One of them said, "Ew, guys like that are why I started drinking." I said, "Guys like that are why I started dating women." I love making new friends at bars.
My favorite show on The Travel Channel is called No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. He does not seem like the nicest person and yet I have a slight crush on him. There is something about self-confessed former junkies. They get me every time.
Speaking of people that I am oddly attracted to, the other night I had a meeting in Tribeca and I went around the corner to the oh-so-fancy Korean deli next to Nobu (Location, location, location people!) to pick up a greasy egg roll from the steamer table or a granola bar or something because I forgot to eat. (I keep doing that. Then I wind up at steamer tables at 9:00 at night. Not good.) Anyway, I am on the phone with my mom, as usual, and I look up and I see Eric Bogosian. At which point I say, "Hey, Mom, Eric Bogosian is here." He looks at me, plastic shopping basket over his arm. Then I say, "I didn't mean to say that out loud." "Yeah, but you did," he said. I decided I didn't need the granola bar and I went home.
I went out to see Chris' show the other night. The bar in front was playing VH1 Classic without the sound because there were, like, actual bands playing. Of course, there were many of us who would have preferred VH1 Classics. Not because of Chris -- him and Steve were great. But some of the others... well, a French horn player does NOT belong in a rock club. That's all I have to say. Two of the girls at the bar were very impressed because I was able to recognize the Toto video for "Rosanna" without the sound on. (This is not impressive so much as sad and indicative of my age.) One of them said, "Ew, guys like that are why I started drinking." I said, "Guys like that are why I started dating women." I love making new friends at bars.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
New York 1 lied
Snow in April. Like dude! Come on! One of my co-workers didn't wear a coat this morning. She was a bit thrown by the weather. And I could SWEAR that New York 1's Weather on the Ones said "possible showers" not "watch out for the blizzard."
My friend Chris' band According to Wendy is playing a gig tonight. I don't think he is too happy about it but he promises to be drunk and friendly -- it's somewhere in the West Village at a place called R&R. I'm going. Who's coming with? It's right near that lesbian bar I like so we can go there after and listen to their rad jukebox? Come on!
I went to see Ms. Kate Moennig in The Guardians last night. Slightly disturbing but very well executed. She's a talented little dynamo. I say "little" because that is what she is. She is teeny. She is so cute. So teeny. I think I thought she was taller. She kind of looks tall on The L Word. Unless everyone on the show is secretly a dwarf. Dwarves with great shoes and pretty hair. Who have sex with each other. Sigh... it's a great show. I can't wait for next season. Here's a little article about it to tide you all over... http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1177092_3_0_,00.html
I am far too tired and lazy to write anything even remotely profound today. If you come out with me tonight or this weekend, I promise to be more entertaining.
My friend Chris' band According to Wendy is playing a gig tonight. I don't think he is too happy about it but he promises to be drunk and friendly -- it's somewhere in the West Village at a place called R&R. I'm going. Who's coming with? It's right near that lesbian bar I like so we can go there after and listen to their rad jukebox? Come on!
I went to see Ms. Kate Moennig in The Guardians last night. Slightly disturbing but very well executed. She's a talented little dynamo. I say "little" because that is what she is. She is teeny. She is so cute. So teeny. I think I thought she was taller. She kind of looks tall on The L Word. Unless everyone on the show is secretly a dwarf. Dwarves with great shoes and pretty hair. Who have sex with each other. Sigh... it's a great show. I can't wait for next season. Here's a little article about it to tide you all over... http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1177092_3_0_,00.html
I am far too tired and lazy to write anything even remotely profound today. If you come out with me tonight or this weekend, I promise to be more entertaining.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Katie said I had to do this
6 things...Okay, here are 6 things that not everybody knows about me.
1) My favorite band is Blondie because when I was little I thought that the band and the comic strip were the same people.
2) At various points during my childhood I had crushes on Wonder Woman, the Sun Maid Raisin lady and the Indian girl on Land O' Lakes. In case you missed the obvious, all of these crushes were on cartoons.
3) When I was very little, I thought that my mother wrote all the songs that I later found out were written and performed by the Beatles.
4) I had such a crush on Kirk Cameron when I was 10 that I used to cry that I was never going to meet him. Now he is a born again Christian and I am so embarassed.
5) Sometimes I feel like I have an actual prejudice against small, older Asian ladies because they always seem to be the people that push me to get a seat on the subway. But then I watch The Joy Luck Club and I like them again.
6) Sometimes I pretend not to hear people when I am listening to my MP3 player. But most of the time, I can hear them.
1) My favorite band is Blondie because when I was little I thought that the band and the comic strip were the same people.
2) At various points during my childhood I had crushes on Wonder Woman, the Sun Maid Raisin lady and the Indian girl on Land O' Lakes. In case you missed the obvious, all of these crushes were on cartoons.
3) When I was very little, I thought that my mother wrote all the songs that I later found out were written and performed by the Beatles.
4) I had such a crush on Kirk Cameron when I was 10 that I used to cry that I was never going to meet him. Now he is a born again Christian and I am so embarassed.
5) Sometimes I feel like I have an actual prejudice against small, older Asian ladies because they always seem to be the people that push me to get a seat on the subway. But then I watch The Joy Luck Club and I like them again.
6) Sometimes I pretend not to hear people when I am listening to my MP3 player. But most of the time, I can hear them.
Sugarzine (Archive from April 2, 2006)
I just found out that this great girl I know edits this zine, called Sugarzine. So I think everyone should read it. It has a great article on kink in one of the older issues in which the writer attempts to define what is kinky. This is important stuff people. Don't YOU want to know what kinkiness is? Especially now that I've mentioned it? I don't think I'm particularly kinky by the way. Well, except for that one time I did that one thing in the movie theater. And that time on the beach. Other than that, I'm totally un-kinky. Anyhoo... There's also an article called I'm with the Band that I could have written at least part of. I feel like I've spent half my life at someone or other's gig. One of the neccessary evils of growing up in New York City. People from L.A. can probably relate, too. Don't you ever feel like everyone you know is in a fucking band? Most of my friends wound up dating guys in bands at some point in our escapades. I did it once. And then he dedicated a song to me from the stage. And that was the last freaking musician I dated. I will never forget the feeling of every eye in the place turning to look at me at Bond Street Cafe (which doesn't exist anymore) when my then-boyfriend's singer said "This one is for Louise who's lost that lovin' feelin'. Louise, where you at?" That was a moment that holes in the floor to swallow people up were made for.
I don't feel good guys. I woke up this morning at my friend's apartment in Harlem (I was babysitting her dog this weekend) to her dog on the pillow next to me even though he was expressly told before I fell asleep that she does not want me to let him sleep on the bed. He was nosing a little pile of something that turned out to be cat vomit. Her cat (whom I not-so-affectionately refer to as BITCH CAT) once tried to kill me with a plastic fork. So I was not surprised to realize that she puked in the bed I was sleeping in. The little fuck.
I have the day off tomorrow. Maybe I'll call you guys at work and tell you how much I am enjoying reruns of Law & Order while you're at work? Huh? Whaddya say?
I don't feel good guys. I woke up this morning at my friend's apartment in Harlem (I was babysitting her dog this weekend) to her dog on the pillow next to me even though he was expressly told before I fell asleep that she does not want me to let him sleep on the bed. He was nosing a little pile of something that turned out to be cat vomit. Her cat (whom I not-so-affectionately refer to as BITCH CAT) once tried to kill me with a plastic fork. So I was not surprised to realize that she puked in the bed I was sleeping in. The little fuck.
I have the day off tomorrow. Maybe I'll call you guys at work and tell you how much I am enjoying reruns of Law & Order while you're at work? Huh? Whaddya say?
Opening Day (Archive from April 3, 2006)
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Guy on the N train (Archive from April 1, 2006)
I refuse to write the words "hangovers are bad" again in this blog. Except for that one time, just now, when I wrote it. They are bad but I'm not going to say it anymore. Even I am growing tired of my own nonsense. If they are so bad, why do I keep putting myself in the position to get them?
I would like to use this post as a means of apologizing to a man I saw on the subway this morning. I am housesitting for my friend in Harlem and I had to get on the subway early this morning and come back to Astoria because my cousin's baby shower is today (I bought her some California Baby bubble bath for the wishing well. It's so cute! It's to make cranky babies happy. That's what it says on the label.) and my family is driving from here upstate so I had to come meet them. Run on sentence, yes. But it's going somewhere.
So on the N train this morning, I finished the book I was reading. (An American Heroine in the French Resistance -- awesome book!) Which meant that I was forced to sit and stare at the various advertisements posted around the train, contemplate my life and do what I do often -- talk to myself and sing along with the songs on my MP3 player. (In this particular case it was "Get Right" by Jennifer Lopez. I'm not proud of that.) Yes, I am that crazy person you see walking down the street whose face belies her inner monologue. I answer myself. I make faces reacting to what I have just said to myself. I then laugh at the jokes I have told myself. This is why I normally try to read a book on the subway. Because otherwise I look crazy and someday someone is going to mistake me for one of those twitchy people you see on the train who talk to God and ask for money and then I am gonna be in trouble.
So anyhoo, at some point during this exchange with myself I realize that someone is smiling at me. This guy sitting across the train from me had the fortitude to smile at a stranger on the subway in New York. And what did said stranger do? I made a face like I just saw someone defecating in public and looked away. Now why did I do that? He was smiling at me for Christ's sake. And he was cute. And harmless-looking. What the fuck is the matter with me?
I think the natural inclination for most New Yorkers is to believe that no one will approach us without wanting something from us. So when this guy smiled at me, I immediately plunged into thoughts like, "What does he want? Is he smiling at me? Why is he smiling at me? There are far cuter people on this train so why did he pick me? He is probably smiling at me because he thinks I'm a lunatic." While these thoughts were occurring to me the one thought that DID NOT cross my mind was that it may have hurt the poor guy's feelings. I mean he smiled at a girl and not only did she not smile back but she looked repulsed. Maybe it didn't bother him and he got on with his day. But still, it bothers me. What was I? Raised by wolves?
So if you are the guy who was on the N train to Astoria approximately 40 minutes ago (it's now 11:11 am) my sincere apologies for being so fucked up that I view every human contact as sinister and suspicious. And you have a very nice smile.
I would like to use this post as a means of apologizing to a man I saw on the subway this morning. I am housesitting for my friend in Harlem and I had to get on the subway early this morning and come back to Astoria because my cousin's baby shower is today (I bought her some California Baby bubble bath for the wishing well. It's so cute! It's to make cranky babies happy. That's what it says on the label.) and my family is driving from here upstate so I had to come meet them. Run on sentence, yes. But it's going somewhere.
So on the N train this morning, I finished the book I was reading. (An American Heroine in the French Resistance -- awesome book!) Which meant that I was forced to sit and stare at the various advertisements posted around the train, contemplate my life and do what I do often -- talk to myself and sing along with the songs on my MP3 player. (In this particular case it was "Get Right" by Jennifer Lopez. I'm not proud of that.) Yes, I am that crazy person you see walking down the street whose face belies her inner monologue. I answer myself. I make faces reacting to what I have just said to myself. I then laugh at the jokes I have told myself. This is why I normally try to read a book on the subway. Because otherwise I look crazy and someday someone is going to mistake me for one of those twitchy people you see on the train who talk to God and ask for money and then I am gonna be in trouble.
So anyhoo, at some point during this exchange with myself I realize that someone is smiling at me. This guy sitting across the train from me had the fortitude to smile at a stranger on the subway in New York. And what did said stranger do? I made a face like I just saw someone defecating in public and looked away. Now why did I do that? He was smiling at me for Christ's sake. And he was cute. And harmless-looking. What the fuck is the matter with me?
I think the natural inclination for most New Yorkers is to believe that no one will approach us without wanting something from us. So when this guy smiled at me, I immediately plunged into thoughts like, "What does he want? Is he smiling at me? Why is he smiling at me? There are far cuter people on this train so why did he pick me? He is probably smiling at me because he thinks I'm a lunatic." While these thoughts were occurring to me the one thought that DID NOT cross my mind was that it may have hurt the poor guy's feelings. I mean he smiled at a girl and not only did she not smile back but she looked repulsed. Maybe it didn't bother him and he got on with his day. But still, it bothers me. What was I? Raised by wolves?
So if you are the guy who was on the N train to Astoria approximately 40 minutes ago (it's now 11:11 am) my sincere apologies for being so fucked up that I view every human contact as sinister and suspicious. And you have a very nice smile.
Daylight is coming (Archive from March 31, 2006)
"Millions of Americans will lose an hour's sleep Saturday night as clocks are turned ahead to daylight-saving time. Other people will forget and be an hour late for church..." -- METRO NEWYORK, Weekend edition.
I love when the news is funny.
So the other thing I read in METRO today (besides Naomi Campbell hitting yet another one of her assistants in the head with a phone) is a great interview with Donna Lieberman, Executive Director of the New York Civil Liberties Union. In it she takes a stand on the immigration debate and she says "There's something wrong when a society depends on the laborers who are here illegally, yet refuses to grant them any protections they are entitled to." METRO invites its readers to comment directly to them but I think you should all comment directly to me because debates like these are more fun for me than doing my job.
Here's my two cents. While I understand we are a nation of laws and should continue to be governed by these laws, when people get all hopped up about illegal immigrants stealing American jobs I can't help but imagine whoever is doing the yelling navigating a rickety bike down Broadway in the rain with a basket full of Chinese food. Because these are the kinds of jobs illegal immigrants "steal" from us -- delivering Chinese food, picking grapes, standing on street corners to get paid $20 a day to do gardening or construction for someone who doesn't want to pay taxes for menial labor.
Donna Lieberman goes on to say "We have to recognize that we are a country of immigrants and immigrants should have rights." She's right. And illegal immigrants -- the guy delivering my mai fun and the woman who wipes the counter at my local Dunkin' Donuts -- these people don't bother me. You know who does bother me? People like my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He's from Northern Ireland. He lives here legally. He gets paid three times as much as any American I know for doing the same job because he was recruited from overseas, apparently because he's so much smarter than any of us. And he complains about the United States like it's some slut who forgot to call him after sex. He says things like, "Americans are going to be extinct soon. No one has any use for you." And "It's not like that in Ireland. In Ireland people are respectful of each other, and this and that is so much better, and the streets are paved with gold and little leprechauns prance at your feet." Okay, he never said that last part but you know what I mean. Mind you, he's from Northern Ireland. Yeah, land of car bombs and civil unrest. I mean its better than it used to be but seriously not the best group for the United States to take lessons from in the ways of keeping your people from revolting.
People like Mr. Ireland annoy me far more than the ones who are breaking their backs to make sure your diner delivery hangover food is hot when it gets to your door because you were too freaking lazy to get off your fat ass and go get your own food. Because he's getting a get version of the American dream. He came here and he did BETTER than he did at home by a LOT. He's doing better than most of the people that were born here. And he's not leaving anytime soon. He's gonna milk it for all its worth. It would be nice if he was grateful. It would be nice if he would give a little back. It would be nice if he would shut the fuck up. But that's just me.
I'm surprised I had such a rant in me considering how hungover I am today. The Beautiful People party was fun. Caroline Torem-Craig took Alev and my picture on the way in. Alev looked really good -- she could be one of the Beautiful People. You never know! We went out afterwards and some guy who looked just like Erik Palladino hit on Alev. Then I randomly ran into Lauren which was FIERCE -- HEY LAUREN! All in all a good night. But now "j'ai gueule du bois" as my interns say and I want to go sleepy sleepy.
I'm going to see Inside Man tonight. Jessica hated it but someone else saw it and loved it. Any opinions?
I love when the news is funny.
So the other thing I read in METRO today (besides Naomi Campbell hitting yet another one of her assistants in the head with a phone) is a great interview with Donna Lieberman, Executive Director of the New York Civil Liberties Union. In it she takes a stand on the immigration debate and she says "There's something wrong when a society depends on the laborers who are here illegally, yet refuses to grant them any protections they are entitled to." METRO invites its readers to comment directly to them but I think you should all comment directly to me because debates like these are more fun for me than doing my job.
Here's my two cents. While I understand we are a nation of laws and should continue to be governed by these laws, when people get all hopped up about illegal immigrants stealing American jobs I can't help but imagine whoever is doing the yelling navigating a rickety bike down Broadway in the rain with a basket full of Chinese food. Because these are the kinds of jobs illegal immigrants "steal" from us -- delivering Chinese food, picking grapes, standing on street corners to get paid $20 a day to do gardening or construction for someone who doesn't want to pay taxes for menial labor.
Donna Lieberman goes on to say "We have to recognize that we are a country of immigrants and immigrants should have rights." She's right. And illegal immigrants -- the guy delivering my mai fun and the woman who wipes the counter at my local Dunkin' Donuts -- these people don't bother me. You know who does bother me? People like my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He's from Northern Ireland. He lives here legally. He gets paid three times as much as any American I know for doing the same job because he was recruited from overseas, apparently because he's so much smarter than any of us. And he complains about the United States like it's some slut who forgot to call him after sex. He says things like, "Americans are going to be extinct soon. No one has any use for you." And "It's not like that in Ireland. In Ireland people are respectful of each other, and this and that is so much better, and the streets are paved with gold and little leprechauns prance at your feet." Okay, he never said that last part but you know what I mean. Mind you, he's from Northern Ireland. Yeah, land of car bombs and civil unrest. I mean its better than it used to be but seriously not the best group for the United States to take lessons from in the ways of keeping your people from revolting.
People like Mr. Ireland annoy me far more than the ones who are breaking their backs to make sure your diner delivery hangover food is hot when it gets to your door because you were too freaking lazy to get off your fat ass and go get your own food. Because he's getting a get version of the American dream. He came here and he did BETTER than he did at home by a LOT. He's doing better than most of the people that were born here. And he's not leaving anytime soon. He's gonna milk it for all its worth. It would be nice if he was grateful. It would be nice if he would give a little back. It would be nice if he would shut the fuck up. But that's just me.
I'm surprised I had such a rant in me considering how hungover I am today. The Beautiful People party was fun. Caroline Torem-Craig took Alev and my picture on the way in. Alev looked really good -- she could be one of the Beautiful People. You never know! We went out afterwards and some guy who looked just like Erik Palladino hit on Alev. Then I randomly ran into Lauren which was FIERCE -- HEY LAUREN! All in all a good night. But now "j'ai gueule du bois" as my interns say and I want to go sleepy sleepy.
I'm going to see Inside Man tonight. Jessica hated it but someone else saw it and loved it. Any opinions?
Profound Dowd (Archive from March 29, 2006)
I think I should get highlights. And some new pants. And those shoes that look like Mary Janes but have a heel.
This is the Maureen Dowd quote that is currently printed on the sides of Starbucks cups. "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." How profound! Granted I'm pretty sure she was talking about her chai latte. But I still like it. Let me see if I can apply it to my life. Wait, give me a minute. I'll get it.
Let me break it down into smaller steps. First clause "The minute you settle for less than you deserve..." This implies that I should know what I deserve. Which I don't. I mean, for example, do I deserve to make $10,000 less than everyone I know who does the same job that I do? But by the same token, do I believe that I deserve to make more money than I currently do just because other people do? See how tricky this can get?
Deserving is one of those things I've never really fully comprehended. Because I find myself repeatedly and completely annoyed by people who think they deserve shit. You know who I'm talking about. The "life's not fair" people. I don't know what memo they got that said that life was supposed to be fair but it's not. So deserving... I don't really get it.
Second clause: "... you get even less than you settled for." I get the circular nature of this statement. She's trying to say that you are what you eat, you get what you give, if you accept shit you deserve shit. Whatever. I get it. I think she is trying to shake people of their low self-esteem. The problem with most people, I think, is that they think they are owed an easy way out of their self-esteem issues. That takes work.
I probably have self-esteem issues. Someone once passed out this quiz and one of the questions was "If you met yourself at a party, would you want to hang out with you?" My answer? A resounding no! My friend told me this is due to my low self-esteem. I think it means that I like to diversify my experiences. Who would want to hang out with themselves? Wouldn't you rather hang out with people not like you? If I met myself at a party, I might go to the other side of the room and seek out completely different.
Speaking of self-esteem issues -- how do you think Anne Heche feels about the fact that she only gets cast in made for TV movies these days? She had much more potential to get cast in cool parts when she was a lesbian.
Tomorrow night my friends and I are going to the PAPER Magazine Beautiful People Party. It's at the Maritime Hotel. You know, the hotel where all the gay boys sip cocktails on the terrace. I have room for 1 person on my invite. Let me know if you want to be my plus 1.
This is the Maureen Dowd quote that is currently printed on the sides of Starbucks cups. "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." How profound! Granted I'm pretty sure she was talking about her chai latte. But I still like it. Let me see if I can apply it to my life. Wait, give me a minute. I'll get it.
Let me break it down into smaller steps. First clause "The minute you settle for less than you deserve..." This implies that I should know what I deserve. Which I don't. I mean, for example, do I deserve to make $10,000 less than everyone I know who does the same job that I do? But by the same token, do I believe that I deserve to make more money than I currently do just because other people do? See how tricky this can get?
Deserving is one of those things I've never really fully comprehended. Because I find myself repeatedly and completely annoyed by people who think they deserve shit. You know who I'm talking about. The "life's not fair" people. I don't know what memo they got that said that life was supposed to be fair but it's not. So deserving... I don't really get it.
Second clause: "... you get even less than you settled for." I get the circular nature of this statement. She's trying to say that you are what you eat, you get what you give, if you accept shit you deserve shit. Whatever. I get it. I think she is trying to shake people of their low self-esteem. The problem with most people, I think, is that they think they are owed an easy way out of their self-esteem issues. That takes work.
I probably have self-esteem issues. Someone once passed out this quiz and one of the questions was "If you met yourself at a party, would you want to hang out with you?" My answer? A resounding no! My friend told me this is due to my low self-esteem. I think it means that I like to diversify my experiences. Who would want to hang out with themselves? Wouldn't you rather hang out with people not like you? If I met myself at a party, I might go to the other side of the room and seek out completely different.
Speaking of self-esteem issues -- how do you think Anne Heche feels about the fact that she only gets cast in made for TV movies these days? She had much more potential to get cast in cool parts when she was a lesbian.
Tomorrow night my friends and I are going to the PAPER Magazine Beautiful People Party. It's at the Maritime Hotel. You know, the hotel where all the gay boys sip cocktails on the terrace. I have room for 1 person on my invite. Let me know if you want to be my plus 1.
Britney on a bear skin (Archive from March 27, 2006)
Katherine has again inspired today's blog. She forced me to come to grips with this little tidbit -- http://www.send2press.com/newswire/2006-03-0322-003.shtml. Yes, folks there is a sculpture right here in Williamsburg, Brooklyn that depicts the birth of Sean Preston Federline. Why? As a statement in favor of the pro-life movement. Sculptor Daniel Edwards says that Britney Spears is the "ideal" poster child for the pro-life movement seemingly because she has the most Google hits. While I do agree with Mr. Edwards that "people are inspired by the beauty of a pregnant woman" does anyone else think this is an entirely separate phenomenon from being pro-life? I certainly do. Pregnant women ARE beautiful and inspirational, there is no doubt about it. And when someone is pregnant because they CHOOSE to be, there is no happier woman in the world. But that is not always the case.
Britney Spears had a baby because she wanted to. I wonder what she would think about being made into a pro-life role model? I wonder how she feels about a sculpture of herself squatting on a bear skin rug? If she was unmarried and not rich and famous would she have been as happy to have a baby at this point in her life? Most pro-choice people I know are not anti-baby. If they had as comfortable a life as Ms. Spears they would probably be ready, willing and able to have a kid.
This is my absolute favorite passage from the article. Wait, get ready, it's a good one… "The artist admits to using references that include the wax figure of a pole-dancing Britney at Las Vegas' Madame Tussauds and 'Britney wigs' characterizing various hairstyles of the pop-princess from a Los Angeles hairstylist." So wholesome! Pole dancing and that pregnant lady glow are so rarely mentioned in the same breath.
Speaking of the pro-choice movement, I just read this AMAZING book (again at the inspiration of Katherine!) called How the Pro Choice Movement Saved America by Cristina Page She makes a lot of great points in this book – and she got through to me, a person who has always approached the pro-choice movement with a great deal of suspicion, mostly because I think they tend to bundle a bunch of causes together and not get to the meat of the matter. Anyway, she says that the pro-life movement, while obviously being anti-abortion, is more importantly anti-sex. Which is why so many of them are on the bandwagon to ban health insurance coverage for birth control. You would think if they wanted to prevent unnecessary abortions, birth control would be right up their alley. You don't want people terminating pregnancies but you are making it impossible for them to have sex without getting pregnant. In a world without legalized abortion those children may well turn out to be unwanted and uncared for, because lord knows our nation's social services can't handle the strain of so many children up for adoption. I've always had the motto: "If you can't handle getting pregnant, don't have sex." But at the same time, the idea that there is a whole contingent of people who are anti-sex… at least when it comes to sex for pleasure, not for babymaking… well that just bothers me.
For those of you who have been keeping up with my extensive fantasy life, here is the link to a play starring Kate Moennig that is going on this week -- http://www.cultureproject.org/guardians.html. As many of you know, in my sick little mind, Ms. Moennig and I will be married someday. Actually the play looks really good. It is about the whole Abu Ghraib thing. Come with me! Maybe I'll get up the nerve to propose! Probably not but you can hope.
Britney Spears had a baby because she wanted to. I wonder what she would think about being made into a pro-life role model? I wonder how she feels about a sculpture of herself squatting on a bear skin rug? If she was unmarried and not rich and famous would she have been as happy to have a baby at this point in her life? Most pro-choice people I know are not anti-baby. If they had as comfortable a life as Ms. Spears they would probably be ready, willing and able to have a kid.
This is my absolute favorite passage from the article. Wait, get ready, it's a good one… "The artist admits to using references that include the wax figure of a pole-dancing Britney at Las Vegas' Madame Tussauds and 'Britney wigs' characterizing various hairstyles of the pop-princess from a Los Angeles hairstylist." So wholesome! Pole dancing and that pregnant lady glow are so rarely mentioned in the same breath.
Speaking of the pro-choice movement, I just read this AMAZING book (again at the inspiration of Katherine!) called How the Pro Choice Movement Saved America by Cristina Page She makes a lot of great points in this book – and she got through to me, a person who has always approached the pro-choice movement with a great deal of suspicion, mostly because I think they tend to bundle a bunch of causes together and not get to the meat of the matter. Anyway, she says that the pro-life movement, while obviously being anti-abortion, is more importantly anti-sex. Which is why so many of them are on the bandwagon to ban health insurance coverage for birth control. You would think if they wanted to prevent unnecessary abortions, birth control would be right up their alley. You don't want people terminating pregnancies but you are making it impossible for them to have sex without getting pregnant. In a world without legalized abortion those children may well turn out to be unwanted and uncared for, because lord knows our nation's social services can't handle the strain of so many children up for adoption. I've always had the motto: "If you can't handle getting pregnant, don't have sex." But at the same time, the idea that there is a whole contingent of people who are anti-sex… at least when it comes to sex for pleasure, not for babymaking… well that just bothers me.
For those of you who have been keeping up with my extensive fantasy life, here is the link to a play starring Kate Moennig that is going on this week -- http://www.cultureproject.org/guardians.html. As many of you know, in my sick little mind, Ms. Moennig and I will be married someday. Actually the play looks really good. It is about the whole Abu Ghraib thing. Come with me! Maybe I'll get up the nerve to propose! Probably not but you can hope.
Circle of Life (Archive from March 26, 2006)
A good friend of mine's father is in the hospital. He had a stroke right before she was supposed to come on my press trip (she is a colleague as well as a friend.) I went to see him today to bring him a bottle of Scotch I picked up for him in Edinburgh. That's me -- bringing alcohol to people in rehab centers. Do I know how to cheer up sick people or what? He was really cheerful and I think a little embarassed that we were all making such a big deal about him being able to open and close his right hand. It just made me think about the circle of life and all that. He was a virile man with a lot of pride but now he is forced to discuss his indigestion and nerve damage with nurses and doctors who don't know him and you can tell he wishes he could just get up and walk out the door and take care of himself. But he can't. They have to help him go to the bathroom and feed himself and it's hard for him. But he remembered who I was which was great, I thought. Anyway, if you could all keep him in your thoughts, that would be great? I believe in the power of positive thinking.
Saturday night (Archive from March 25, 2006)
I drank enough this afternoon that I am home on a Saturday night. It was my friend Tina's shower and her bridesmaids gave the rest of her friends and relations the greatest gift of all -- they opened all the presents as soon as we walked in and put our names on them. So instead of sitting in a circle and oohing and aahing over the fondue pot and the champagne flutes that she knew she was getting anyway because she REGISTERED for them, we had time to sit around and enjoy the free wine and eggplant rollotini. All in all a splendid affair. Oh and my table came up with the most song titles with the word "Love" in them so we all won picture frames. SWEET! We girls do the strangest things when one of us is getting married.
Ah well. My sister/roommate is out tonight and that is all that matters. So I have the DVR all to myself and I can catch up on all those shows that I missed while I was traveling. What is everyone else up to tonight?
So I am formulating a list of cities that I would like to live in. Please weigh in with your thoughts and suggestions. I would be happy to read them and they may influence how far away I get from your respective homes and lives. Depending on how much you personally can't stand me, this could be a good or bad thing so remember -- every vote counts. Here is the list I have so far.
1) New Orleans -- I have never felt so at home in a place other than New York as I did here. And yes, I KNOW there was a hurricane and there are lots of problems down there. But I do TOURISM PR for a living. Guess who could use some help in that department right about now? Plus, if I lived there I could probably kick my addiction to high priced coffee drinks since Starbucks seemed pretty hard to come by. It might lead to an addiction to other things but whatever.
2) San Diego -- I love the Gas Lamp district and there are lots of cute people here. However, there are also lots of Republicans and one block in one direction there may be a cute little cafe but one block in the other direction and you're standing in front of a pawn shop and a hotel with boarded up windows and some guy peeing in the doorway. The whole area kind of reminded me of Times Square back in the 80s, only with a lot less porn.
3) Chicago -- Speaking of porn, there are LOADS of porn shops in Chicago. Like middle-of-Chicago Chicago. Like next door to fancy restaurants and hotels. But it's the Midwest so everyone is very polite -- even the bitchy gay boys are less bitchy. And Irish bars are a plenty, let me tell you. It's cold as ass in the winter, though.
4) Philadelphia -- I LOVE PHILADELPHIA! It is a totally manageable size and it's only 2 hours from New York. The streets are fairly gridlike so it wouldn't be difficult to navigate. So far Philly is a definite maybe.
5) San Francisco -- It is very expensive in San Francisco. I think I would have to go back and explore it a little bit more to get a real feel for it but I like what I did see. And they have a street named after Jack Kerouac. How cool is that?!?
Okay so these are my top 5. I was thinking about putting Boston on the list but the baseball team is an insurmountable challenge, I'm sorry to say. And I can't move to Washington. There are far too many people I dislike living there and the neighborhoods I like I just can't afford to live in.
On a completely unrelated note, does everyone agree that Shakira is the cutest Latin person EVER?
Oh and I kissed my friend last night. I am highly anti-making out with your friends. I hope it's not weird the next time I see her.
Ah well. My sister/roommate is out tonight and that is all that matters. So I have the DVR all to myself and I can catch up on all those shows that I missed while I was traveling. What is everyone else up to tonight?
So I am formulating a list of cities that I would like to live in. Please weigh in with your thoughts and suggestions. I would be happy to read them and they may influence how far away I get from your respective homes and lives. Depending on how much you personally can't stand me, this could be a good or bad thing so remember -- every vote counts. Here is the list I have so far.
1) New Orleans -- I have never felt so at home in a place other than New York as I did here. And yes, I KNOW there was a hurricane and there are lots of problems down there. But I do TOURISM PR for a living. Guess who could use some help in that department right about now? Plus, if I lived there I could probably kick my addiction to high priced coffee drinks since Starbucks seemed pretty hard to come by. It might lead to an addiction to other things but whatever.
2) San Diego -- I love the Gas Lamp district and there are lots of cute people here. However, there are also lots of Republicans and one block in one direction there may be a cute little cafe but one block in the other direction and you're standing in front of a pawn shop and a hotel with boarded up windows and some guy peeing in the doorway. The whole area kind of reminded me of Times Square back in the 80s, only with a lot less porn.
3) Chicago -- Speaking of porn, there are LOADS of porn shops in Chicago. Like middle-of-Chicago Chicago. Like next door to fancy restaurants and hotels. But it's the Midwest so everyone is very polite -- even the bitchy gay boys are less bitchy. And Irish bars are a plenty, let me tell you. It's cold as ass in the winter, though.
4) Philadelphia -- I LOVE PHILADELPHIA! It is a totally manageable size and it's only 2 hours from New York. The streets are fairly gridlike so it wouldn't be difficult to navigate. So far Philly is a definite maybe.
5) San Francisco -- It is very expensive in San Francisco. I think I would have to go back and explore it a little bit more to get a real feel for it but I like what I did see. And they have a street named after Jack Kerouac. How cool is that?!?
Okay so these are my top 5. I was thinking about putting Boston on the list but the baseball team is an insurmountable challenge, I'm sorry to say. And I can't move to Washington. There are far too many people I dislike living there and the neighborhoods I like I just can't afford to live in.
On a completely unrelated note, does everyone agree that Shakira is the cutest Latin person EVER?
Oh and I kissed my friend last night. I am highly anti-making out with your friends. I hope it's not weird the next time I see her.
Not like the movies (Archive from March 23, 2006)
Sometimes dramatic moments occur. Sometimes someone you never expected to hear from ever again, someone who hurt you or dumped you or treated you like shit, sometimes they poke their little head back into your life and it's not like in the movies. They don't have all the answers you were looking for. They don't always even have something to say to you, not anything meaningful at least. They were just thinking about you, just passing through, just saw something that reminded them of you. That means you mean something to them, right? That means you meant something to them, right? That means there is a future to this relationship, right? No, not always. But it is easy to get sucked into that fantasy, that possibility. Because we all want to believe that we are not disposable, that we linger on in other people's memories even after we are not part of their lives anymore. But most of the time we probably don't.
I'm back in New York for a while if anyone cares.
I'm back in New York for a while if anyone cares.
Aunt Josie (Archive from March 19, 2006)
Yesterday my family celebrated my Aunt Josie's 90th birthday. It was a surprise but we couldn't yell surprise because she has a heart condition, and she's, well, 90. But lots of people she hasn't seen in a while came and she was happy and I think she was surprised. She's a great lady. She has always marched to her own drummer. She's really cool. She wears what she wants, says what she wants, raised her kids the way she wants. She doesn't like to clean her house so she doesn't. She taught her kids that looks are not what matters. She's just awesome.
Last year at this time my other aunt, Aunt Kay, passed away. So today I went to church with my uncle, her husband. Surprise, surprise, the church did not burst into flame upon my entering, the holy water did not bubble and gurgle at the touch of my skin. So all that 64% evil nonsense (according to that poll I took) is COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED. However, because every situation in my family borders on ridiculous, even serious things such as praying for a dead relative, Uncle Nick, who is so deaf it's not funny, didn't seem to realize that he was yelling when he told me that I was sinning because I took Communion without going to confession the day before. So that little prayer you say after getting communion, where you reflect on your relationship with God or whatever -- well I used mine to pray for the restraint not to smack an old man in church.
Last year at this time my other aunt, Aunt Kay, passed away. So today I went to church with my uncle, her husband. Surprise, surprise, the church did not burst into flame upon my entering, the holy water did not bubble and gurgle at the touch of my skin. So all that 64% evil nonsense (according to that poll I took) is COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED. However, because every situation in my family borders on ridiculous, even serious things such as praying for a dead relative, Uncle Nick, who is so deaf it's not funny, didn't seem to realize that he was yelling when he told me that I was sinning because I took Communion without going to confession the day before. So that little prayer you say after getting communion, where you reflect on your relationship with God or whatever -- well I used mine to pray for the restraint not to smack an old man in church.
Back up plan (Archive from March 18, 2006)
I have come to the recent conclusion that I am someone's back up plan. You have no idea how much that pisses me off. There is this guy (yes, yes, I said I was becoming a lesbian this year but everyone knows I have no follow-through so back off!) and I think he is pretty cute. He is mostly all over me. Unless this other girl is around. Then I am invisible. At which point I do the dignified thing and I back off, talk to other guys, my friends, whatever. And then he is all over me again, seemingly mystified that I don't think he is sincerely interested in me. I am the back up plan. What a cocksucker, huh? Yeah, yeah, those are the ones I like. The ones that treat me like shit. Do you see why I am tempted to just throw in the towel and become a muff diver? I can't be trusted to find a good man and most of the time I don't want one anyway.
I had a long talk with someone last night that I didn't think I would ever talk to again a couple of years ago. St. Patrick's Day is a time for togetherness apparently. Togetherness and beer on your coat and someone spilling vodka in your hair and talking about how things went wrong last year and the year before. Anyway, it was interesting.
In my alcoholic stupor, I had a dream that I got back together with my ex-boyfriend only to break up with him again. It was a weird dream. In it I sort of half-assed agreed to be his girlfriend again only to realize that if I had to have sex with him ever again I would vomit. But I still liked him in the dream. I told him that. I told him that I wanted to be friends and he said what I would have said. "But we were never friends to begin with." Asking my ex-boyfriend to be my friend is completely out of character for me. As I always say, once we break up you are no longer a character in my Truman Show, so disappear. Not a very healthy way to live your life but it works for me. So how weird to talk to him in a dream and ask him to be my friend? Perhaps I am becoming a better, more evolved adult who can be friends with their exes. Or perhaps it was all the beer I drank.
I had my evaluation with my boss yesterday. Yes, someone with the last name O'BRIEN had to have an evaluation with her boss and her director IN FRENCH on ST. PATRICK'S DAY. You will all be thrilled to know that I did it while wearing a plastic "Happy Saint Patrick's Day" hat. My boss said such nice things about me. Considering that I am a raving bitch (and was just that morning, to her!) it was kind of a shaming experience. But maybe I will get a raise. They asked me what I wanted from my position, did I want to take classes that would enhance my skills, etc., etc. I asked them if they would pay for anger management. I'll let you know what happens.
I had a long talk with someone last night that I didn't think I would ever talk to again a couple of years ago. St. Patrick's Day is a time for togetherness apparently. Togetherness and beer on your coat and someone spilling vodka in your hair and talking about how things went wrong last year and the year before. Anyway, it was interesting.
In my alcoholic stupor, I had a dream that I got back together with my ex-boyfriend only to break up with him again. It was a weird dream. In it I sort of half-assed agreed to be his girlfriend again only to realize that if I had to have sex with him ever again I would vomit. But I still liked him in the dream. I told him that. I told him that I wanted to be friends and he said what I would have said. "But we were never friends to begin with." Asking my ex-boyfriend to be my friend is completely out of character for me. As I always say, once we break up you are no longer a character in my Truman Show, so disappear. Not a very healthy way to live your life but it works for me. So how weird to talk to him in a dream and ask him to be my friend? Perhaps I am becoming a better, more evolved adult who can be friends with their exes. Or perhaps it was all the beer I drank.
I had my evaluation with my boss yesterday. Yes, someone with the last name O'BRIEN had to have an evaluation with her boss and her director IN FRENCH on ST. PATRICK'S DAY. You will all be thrilled to know that I did it while wearing a plastic "Happy Saint Patrick's Day" hat. My boss said such nice things about me. Considering that I am a raving bitch (and was just that morning, to her!) it was kind of a shaming experience. But maybe I will get a raise. They asked me what I wanted from my position, did I want to take classes that would enhance my skills, etc., etc. I asked them if they would pay for anger management. I'll let you know what happens.
Time zones (Archive from March 16, 2006)
My friend Katie said to me on the phone the other night, "You're traveling like a crazy person." At that moment I was curled up in bed in a hotel in Boston, recovering from the jet lag of having just arrived from Scotland the night before. "At least I'm staying in the same time zone this week, so it's not so bad" I replied. "Yeah, Louise, it does not bode well when you respond that you are staying in the same time zone," she said. "Perhaps you should take a break." And after next week, I will.
Next week I am on the West Coast where life is sunshiney and bright... except, of course, until I arrive at which point it will proabably rain. Did I mention that it never snows in Edinburgh but it did while I was there? A lot? I cannot be trusted with weather.
I just got back from DC tonight. I should just move there. I feel like I am always there anyway. In between Boston and DC I was in Philly, where I found a bar actually called "The Irish Bar". It is also where I had the ill-advised notion that I could handle doing shots of Jack Daniels alone. Note to self: this is not something that I can handle.
So I am here for the weekend. If anyone has forgotten what I look like and would like a refresher course in Louise... well, tough. My weekend is jam packed and I don't have time for you. But maybe next week.
Someone I barely know offered me use of a beach condo in St. Croix in April. Perhaps travel is not going to be a faint memory for me anytime soon.
Next week I am on the West Coast where life is sunshiney and bright... except, of course, until I arrive at which point it will proabably rain. Did I mention that it never snows in Edinburgh but it did while I was there? A lot? I cannot be trusted with weather.
I just got back from DC tonight. I should just move there. I feel like I am always there anyway. In between Boston and DC I was in Philly, where I found a bar actually called "The Irish Bar". It is also where I had the ill-advised notion that I could handle doing shots of Jack Daniels alone. Note to self: this is not something that I can handle.
So I am here for the weekend. If anyone has forgotten what I look like and would like a refresher course in Louise... well, tough. My weekend is jam packed and I don't have time for you. But maybe next week.
Someone I barely know offered me use of a beach condo in St. Croix in April. Perhaps travel is not going to be a faint memory for me anytime soon.
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