I wonder if people are scarred for life after Simon insults them on American Idol? Perhaps I am just too sensitive but I think I might be. He's so mean!
You know who else is mean? GIRLS man! They are sooooooooo mean to each other. And usually they are mean to each other over GUYS. Better yet, usually over a guy they met in a bar or at a party or something. Don't you think if he was the guy you were gonna marry you wouldn't have to be mean to someone else to get him? I mean, how can that be the way it works.
I can say all this about girls because I'm a woman now. I'm thirty -- in case you missed the memo. (By the way, party people, the bar where I had my birthday sent me photos from my party. If I haven't sent them to you already and you want to see them, let me know.) Anyway, we women stay above the fray and watch the girls we know act like jackasses. It's about the only good thing I can say about getting older. I certainly can't say, "Well, now that I'm 30 I can certainly hold my drink," a la that line from Bridget Jones. Right after she said that, she fell out of a cab. That sounds a little like me.
I'm going to Vegas on Friday. Who wants me to play a number for them? Let me know, beotches! Who wants me to call them drunk from a casino at a questionable hour? You got it, muthafuckas! 'Cuz you so money, baby. You're money and you don't even know it!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
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