Interesting tidbits from today's edition of Metro, "the newspaper for cheap people on the go". (Okay, I made up that tag line but if anyone from Metro is reading this and would like to pay me for it, I would be happy to sell it to them in exchange for a job writing their gossip column and a lifetime supply of mass-produced coffee drinks. I've thought long and hard about these demands but please be advised that I would also accept cash.)
1) A 16-year old girl met a guy on Myspace and flew to Jordan to be with him. Her parents did not know she was gone. According to the mother of the young man, "She wanted to convert to Islam and wear the head covering and live with us and adopt our culture." Do I even HAVE to insert a wisecrack here about the fact that technology enables parents to know what their kids are watching on cable and searching for on the internet and yet THESE PARENTS somehow did not know their daughter had purchased a ticket to JORDAN? I didn't think so -- surely you can create your own wisecrack for this situation.
2) A British man resigned from his job at Marks & Spencer yesterday but not before having a Mexican red-kneed tarantula delivered to a co-worker he didn't like. Way to get the most out of that inter-office mail service on your last day. Marks & Spencer has yummy chocolate but apparently they don't screen for mental wellness during the hiring process.
Is it offensive to anyone that I desperately want this t-shirt and plan to wear it proudly if I do get it? Scientologists are mean to gay people. That is why all of the gay Scientologists pretend not to be gay. Therefore it is funny to CALL them "gay"? No? Plus I just like that picture of John Travolta from Staying Alive, which is possibly the worst dance movie ever made but I watch it EVERY time it's on. That and Mommie Dearest. I can't help myself. I think I need professional help.
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