Just to prove that I am officially the most retarded person ever, I fell the other night walking home from the bar. I blame Rob and Greg. Alcohol pushers. Every time I looked down at the table, there was a fresh beer in front of me. On the way home I tripped over my own flip-flop and down I went. I have a great big bruise on my knee. I wish I played sports or something so I could pretend I got injured playing racquetball or something. Perhaps I should start playing racquetball so I have an excuse for all of my drinking-related injuries.
I'm supposed to be at the Beer Garden right now but most of my friends bailed on me or are going over later. I am not planning any more outings. They always fall flat. My friends cannot be trusted to act as a cohesive group.
Two of my favorite people are getting married next week and I can't go to the wedding. I hope John and Jenna aren't mad at me. The wedding is in Rhode Island and I can't get there because I don't drive. I grew up in New York so I never bothered to get a license. I keep saying I will get one someday but the couple of times I tried to drive I always managed to hit something. I think it is important to recognize one's own limitations.
So I will attempt to get over to the Beer Garden with or without my friends, I think. I think everyone who reads this should just meet me there. I'll be the one limping with two beers in her hand.
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