I'm heartbroken, you guys. I don't want to be -- but I am. Heartbroken doesn't become me. Anyone who knew me around Fall 2001 knows that that is a very true statement.
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I have this terrible tendency of becoming attached to a situation that doesn't really fit me. I find someone or something that I think is the only thing that will make me happy. I put all of my eggs in that basket and then the basket breaks and there are broken eggs all over my life. The good thing is that it happens very rarely. I probably won't be like this again for at least a couple of years. It will take a few weeks and I will bounce back and it will be, to the casual observer, as if nothing ever happened.
But the downside is I will go the next couple of years welcoming things into my life that aren't that one perfect thing. I'll date people I don't really care about, I'll do things that don't make my heart sing. I'll just go through the motions, drinking and laughing and hanging out with my friends. Nothing will change -- I will always be me. I gotta tell you though, right now I'm sick of the sight of me and would love to be someone else.
Anyway, I'll be fine. I'm trying not to sink too deep into this morose swamp I've created. I just needed to get this out.
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