So David Blaine couldn't hold his breath for 7 minutes and he had to be taken to the hospital all pruny and corpse-like. WHY does he think that torturing himself in public is magic? What's his next trick gonna be? Taking lots of Viagara and seeing if he can survive that 4+ hour erection the commercials are always warning you about?
I remember when he froze himself in a block of ice a few years ago. He was dating that Maybelline model at the time and everytime a camera was anywhere near her she would turn on the waterworks and pretend to be so worried about him. But I was there and the rest of the time she looked bored. It must be so weird to be David Blaine's girlfriend. I mean someday he is going to do something to get himself maimed and if you think dating him now looks hard, imagine what it will be like when he loses all his appendages and he's just a stump? Because that's in the cards for you, David, if you keep submerging yourself underwater, burying yourself alive, hanging from a bridge and standing on poles on one foot. No life led in constant peril ends well.
THE YANKEES WIN! THE YANKEES WIN! I was supposed to go meet some people at Dave & Busters but just as I was about to leave Jason Giambi hit a 2-run homer and then Alex Rodriguez -- otherwise known as ARod, or, as my sister calls him, "the reason hot dogs are now $8 at Yankee Stadium" -- actually earned a little bit of his gargantuan paycheck tonight. Thank you, ARod! Anyway, I didn't go out. I feel like I abandoned them last night and they lost miserably. I know I don't have all that much power... well, actually I don't know that. It could all be thanks to me. You don't know!
I went out to Coda last night to see Chris' friend play. She was pretty good. I wish I'd paid better attention but instead I was watching the game with no sound at the bar and I think I scared him a little. I try not to scream out my death wishes for the Red Sox. I hear them in my head and then they come streaming out of my mouth.
Did anyone watch CNN this afternoon? It was on while I was standing on line at the bank during my lunch break. News story after news story were like live video streams from CRAZY TOWN. It was like someone was doing a spoof on the news or something. The first story I saw was about an internet sex sting. The police fooled this guy into thinking he was coming to a strip mall in New Hampshire to meet a 14-year old girl. When he got there -- carrying flowers with a condom and marijuana in his pocket -- the police and some TV cameras were there. First, why were the TV cameras there? Have the police started doing PR for themselves? Are they trying to get coverage for these stings? Seems odd. Then the guy kind of threw himself on the floor or maybe the cops did it for him, I don't remember which. But this reporter puts her mike in his face and starts asking him questions. So there he is -- he's caught, he's a pedophile, America knows it AND he's facedown on the cement -- and he's being all SNOTTY to her. She said, "So you thought you were coming to meet a 14-year old girl, didn't you?" And he says, somewhat like Napoleon Dynamite, "Uh, I don't THINK so!" I was laughing out loud in the bank. The guy ahead of me in line thought I was very uncouth, you could just tell.
The next story was about a priest who is on trial for killing a nun in 1980. I didn't get to hear the end of that one but that is a Dan Brown book waiting to happen, dontcha think
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