Inappropriate

Every once in a while I realize that I don't have it all figured out. That might seem like an obvious statement and those of you who actually know me might be thinking right now, "Louise, when exactly did you think you had it all figured out? Because you're a freaking mess." But I did. I do. I give my friends advice about men and love and women and sex. WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW?!? I fall for the wrong people all the time. I always had this wonderful capability -- if I met someone who was "inappropriate" I could turn off my attraction to them. So if they were married, gay, one of my co-workers, roommates, friends of my cousin I could actually STOP myself from thinking they were cute. I had this friend in high school, Todd, that all my friends thought was hot. It turns out he was hot. But I never saw it because I turned off my ability to see that because he was my friend and I didn't want to fuck with that.

Anyway, I think I've lost this ability. In the past week I've become attracted to people who are completely inappropriate for me. And I think I got my friend mad at me in the process. But I don't know... I never really like anyone. If I like someone, shouldn't I go for it? Shouldn't I at least try? You wanna know the funny part -- all the advice I give, it's so easy for me to see the right way to do things when it comes to someone else. But I just can't figure out what the next step should be for me.

On a non-weepy wingy moanyhole note, hi Rob and Gregg! I love when people I haven't seen in years find me on My Space. It's so cool.

I leave for France tomorrow so I might go out tonight but I have to spend most of the day packing and cleaning my apartment. Anyway, try to live without me, 'kay? Don't stick your heads in the oven or slit your wrists for missing me. I would feel terrible.