Monkeys in Ziploc bags

Did you guys hear about the people in the Bronx who slept on a city bus? Apparently the generator at a cooling station went out after the power outage and the city sent up three MTA buses for the local residents to sleep on. Can I ask why these power outages keep happening in poor and working class neighborhoods? Don't the rich people on Fifth Avenue use their air conditioners too much, too? Can't they suffer a little? They're all probably at their summer homes so they wouldn't even notice. (Just a little aside to God. Make bad things happen to rich people for once.)

I would like to commend the tough-as-nails investigative journalists at Good Morning America for the following piece on what happens while sitting in a hot car. Was Taylor Hicks (or some other insipid celebrity) not available for a heart-to-heart yesterday? Was there no family of septuplets in Des Moines to tell their uplifting story of perserverence available for a live remote? I think the point is you shouldn't sit in a hot car for too long.

This is the most interesting story I read today. Some barely known actress in L.A. befriended booby-cutting serial killer Wayne Adam Ford. He cut off women's boobies. That's right, their boobies. I mean I like boobies as much as the next person but don't they look better ATTACHED to the person then, say, in a Ziploc bag? The most ironic part is that Victoria Redstall, the actress in question (who referred to Ford as having "such a kindness to him, such a conscience") used to be a spokesperson for breast enhancement supplements! I probably found that funnier than you all did because you are probably still trying to get the image of the booby in the Ziploc bag out of your head. Think happy thoughts... puppies, kittens, cute little monkeys... No, not cute little monkeys in Ziploc bags, you freak! What the hell is the matter with you?