Cranky day

Do not do any of the following things when you're already a little bit cranky.

-- Wear boots that you haven't worn since last winter. They will hurt a little until you break them in again and the pain in your feet will cause you more crankiness.

-- Tell your client or anyone else that you have to impress that you're not awake until you have your third cup of coffee when you're talking to them on the phone at 4:00 pm. They won't understand, will accuse you of caffeine addiction and your crankiness will increase even more.

-- Volunteer to help anyone with anything. You might be the most helpful person in the world normally but when crankiness sets in you will start to resent the person you're helping who most likely is so grateful for your help that they are being really sweet to you. And then you're the bitch who was a crankpot to the sweetheart. You don't need the agita and guess what you'll be when you're done? CRANKIER!

-- Answer the phone when your parents call. We've discussed this in previous blogs. Most likely they are calling to tell you they misplaced the gift certificate you gave them for their birthday or because it just occurred to them that you would be the perfect person to ask how they can get discount tickets for "Jersey Boys". And you will hang up on them and be even CRANKIER.

Hopefully you will use this little guideline for your next cranky day and avoid additional crankiness as the day progresses. And then you will feel compelled to write me a thank you note for my assistance. But wait until the cranky day is over before you do.