Hipsters and frat boys

I keep discovering bands that I like and then hearing their music in random places. I love this band Spoon. Right after I discovered them I heard one of their songs on an Acura commercial and then just now I heard another one on the commercial for a British TV Show that's on cable here. Weird. Anyway, if you haven't heard of them you should because I love them. Spoon and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (who will be at Central Park Summerstage on September 28 -- who wants to go with me?) And I've recently remembered how much I used to love the Violent Femmes so I am all in to them again.

Oh my God, did I tell you guys about the hot exterminator? He was super hot. And he killed the waterbugs. So I might just marry him. I'm not scared of bugs -- I don't know why, I'm missing this particular girl gene -- but I don't want to have to chase them around either. So I think it would be handy to be married to someone who will effectively kill them for me. Don't you agree? And he was so cute! I mentioned that already, right?

Last night ended badly. I'm tired of other people making me feel bad. I don't think people walk through this world trying to make me feel bad but often they do. And they don't seem to care that they do. Because I have a temper I have this new policy that when someone starts with me I will often try to walk away so that I won't do something I regret. But there are lots of people in my life who seemingly WANT me to react. They want a reason to fight with me and when I won't give it to them they react badly. Anyway, any advice on this would be great. If you have it. Please don't force yourself to write something if you don't.

Okay, what else can we talk about... I spend far too much of my life at Tir Na Nog. I blame Karen. They make great fries but I think I made myself sick with all the cider I've been drinking so I'm gonna hold off. Who knew fermented apple juice wasn't good for you? I met some great new people last night, some of whom live in Astoria. YAY! New neighbor friends. Why don't you all just move to Astoriaalready so I have people to do brunch with? It's cool here. And cheaper than Manhattan. And not yet full of hipsters and we all KNOOOOOOOOOW how I feel about those freaking hipsters. Oh, you're a starving artist, huh? But your parents pay for you to live on Ludlow Street? Yeah, that's integrity right there.

My friend Leah is celebrating her birthday tonight at Arriba Arriba followed by beer and retardedness on the Upper East Side. What do I hate more than hipsters? Former frat boys who live in railroad rooms on the Upper East Side. I have some experience with this. They suck. I once had the poor judgement to date a guy who lived up there -- another "Daddy, can you send me a check" kind of guy who snorted most of his paycheck up his nose -- and he had like no furniture but he did have a Pop-a-Shot. Wedged in the corner. Of his tiny apartment. On East 91st Street. I don't know if you can picture this but it's retarded. He also never had any food and I don't think he owned dishes but he constantly had a bottle of Grey Goose in the freezer and chilled martini glasses at the ready. Actually, I thought that bit was a little funny.

Anyway, I always have fun with Leah so tonight should be fun. Because you can have a good time ANYWHERE if you are with your friends, right?

I'm not a giant pink rabbit

I'm home from work today and I just don't feel like talking about my sad and sorry life. Look at this funny picture I found instead...

This is me after a few drinks... you know, if I was climbing in the Italian Alps at the time. And I was a giant pink rabbit. Which, for those of you who haven't met me, I'm actually not.

You want to see something else I found that's funny? The fattest cat ever! Don't you kind of want to pick it up and squish it? He looks so mad, like he's thinking, "Put me down Japanese man. You're not the boss of me! I'm PHAT with a PH!" I always thought my friend Adriana had the fattest cat ever when we were in high school. His name was George and he was HUGE and not very friendly but she loved him and she used to get me Christmas presents and sign the card from him. He almost always got me socks.

I saw this article on MSN this morning. I have to say I am NOT ready for this movie. Does everyone else agree? It all happened like 5 years ago. I'm not ready to see a movie about it. I'm just not. Victims' families have already seen the movie and most of them are very supportive of it. But, I don't know, it's all too weird for me. It's not history for me yet. I don't know if that makes sense. Oliver Stone is making a movie about it, too. It's kind of freaking me out.

Reasonable hour

Due to some questionable activity from our neighbors, large water bugs have invaded our apartment. So I cleaned my whole apartment today in preparation for the arrival of the exterminator tomorrow morning. I'm so tired. Sigh. Thank goodness for Magner's Cider. Makes everything seem less icky.

What have I done lately that you might want to hear about? Let me think... I went to CB's to hear Chris' band on Tuesday night. Without any of you people, I'd like to add! I feel like I know all the According to Wendy songs now so sometimes I sing along. Some girl asked me if I was Wendy. I told her that Wendy is Chris' imaginary friend at which point she got up and moved away from me. The hat in the photo on my profile belongs to Chris now. It made him so much happier than it ever made me. So I'm in the market for a new white trash/goes-well-with-a-wifebeater hat. Any suggestions?

Chris' friend Jason came out, too. Apparently the last time I saw him I called him an "asshole" but I don't remember it. Ain't I charming? I felt bad enough to buy him a Red Stripe or two and he then convinced me that it was a bad idea to steal a big framed photo of Debbie Harry from off the wall.
Last night I had to go to a cocktail thingy at the Marlborough Gallery. The best thing I can say about that is it was quick and there was free champagne and cheese straws. Then I went to Tir Na Nog to watch three different sporting events at one time. The Yankees lost but Jenny (my friend the Met fan) was kind enough not to rub it in and she also inspired me to go home and download some Digable Planets. So shout out to Jenny! She's a cutie.

The Rangers lost, too -- SHOCKING -- and I don't know how the basketball game ended because... this is going to knock you off your chairs -- I decided to be responsible and come home at a REASONABLE HOUR. Now you may be saying, "Louise, I didn't know you were familiar with the phrase 'reasonable hour'? Where did you acquire this new knowledge?" Well, dear friends and random strangers who read my blog, I heard someone say it at work one day and then randomly I heard another person say it. And then another and another. They always seemed to say it right before they put down their empty glass and left a party or other social engagement at which alcohol was served. Then they ACTUALLY LEFT. What I noticed next was that these same people, the next time I saw them, were not at bleary-eyed and falling over their own shoes as I most likely was at that same moment. Through the powers of deductive reasoning I came to the conclusion that somehow putting down your glass and going home after invoking the magic "REASONABLE HOUR" phrase led to a lesser likelihood of vomiting on your neighbors' front walk and/or going to work the next morning with your shirt on inside out. So far it seems to be working out that way.

I have no plans tonight because I am at war with the insects. But tomorrow night I have to go to this jazz thing. A Edouard Glissant is being honored. It should be interesting.

Yankees are doing reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly well right now so I gotta go pay attention. Truthfully I'm going to watch the hot relief pitcher, Kyle Farnsworth. He's so freaking cute -- his teeth are so white they're like freaking piano keys.

If anyone goes out this weekend, give me a holler, okay?

Canoodling

NOTE TO READERS: I have been questioned about my use of CAPITAL LETTERS and mullllllllllltiple letters in the middle of words. The capital letters would denote a stress on that particular word as in "What kind of JACKASS can't figure out what that means?" and the extra letters in a word means that I have enlongated the pronunciation of that word, as in "I am toooootally not being sarcastic right now." Please read on accordingly.

Interesting tidbit in Metro today, the paper for cheap people on the go. Denise Richards was spotted "canoodling" with Richie Sambora, who just ended his marriage to her friend Heather Locklear. She dumped him when she found nude pictures of his assistant in his email inbox. (I think the real reason is that all of her face lifts are starting to make her look like a petrified Chihuahua dog and HE is a 46 year old man with bangs. I mean come on now!) That is not that interesting of a piece of gossip except that I KNEW ABOUT IT YESTERDAY! I love that! I had drinks with a journalist who shall remain nameless for a gossip/celebrity publication that shall also remain nameless and he told me. I like being the first to know. Although knowing said nameless journalist (his codename is "Confectionary") he probably told his roommates and several other people before he told me. Ah, well! Side note I would like to become famous enough one day that I will be caught canoodling with someone and it will matter. I don't think you can officially get caught canoodling unless you are famous anyway. If you're not famous its just calling making out.

Other interesting tidbit that was garnered at the same drinks extravaganza from another nameless source. One of the stars of a hit Showtime show is... wait for it... a total loony bitch! I won't say who and I won't say what show other than to say the title of the show rhymes with "NEEDS". Apparently several people that nameless source (code name "Precious Moments Doll") knows at Showtime fall into the total loony bitch category. But not my girl KM. I love love love her. Maybe I will become famous and be spotted canoodling with her? D'ya think?

So tonight I am probably not doing very much although my According to Wendy is at CBs Lounge at 9:00. If anyone wants to go let me know and I'll do my very best to meet you there. I had to wear fancy grown-up clothes today cuz I have a meeting with other grown-ups and they dont really know I'm a retard. Well, they probbbbbbbbbbbbbably know they're just too polite and grown-up to say anything.

Helga escaped

Remember how I said I would never move to Boston because of the Red Sox? Um... Boston might be in the running after all. Give me a call if you want to hear more about this.
What have I done today besides numb my brain with more press releases about The Da Vinci Code. (By the way I HAVE to go see this for work so if anyone wants to come with it opens May 19.)

Let me think, let me think... Something interesting to tell you all.... hmmmm....Oh! I got it! I walked down Madison Avenue with a good portion of my boob hanging out of my shirt this afternoon. Many, many men were smiling at me as I walked to lunch and I did not know why. It is because they had made eye contact with Helga -- of Helga & Olga fame, otherwise known as "the girls" or "the twins" or "the bumps under my shirt that shall remain nameless." It was a fun moment for me at the Korean deli when I realized she had escaped. It was an even more fun moment for the guy behind the counter.

I have absolutely nothing else to report. The only thing even remotely interesting that I read in the paper today was that the 20th Anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster is coming up this week. Did you know that Chernobyl is still up and running as a nuclear power plant? No one lives there and everyone who works there has to be hermetically sealed and then unsealed every morning and evening, but it's still there. This tidbit of information is courtesy of my friend Grant who scared the hell out of me last week by screaming my name while riding by on his bicycle in Astoria and then stopped to talk to me about Earth Day and Chernobyl. Hi Grant! Let's go to Starlight next week, 'kay?

Suri pickpocket

The Yankees won today. Woo hoo! My friend Karen came to the game with us in lieu of my mom, who wasn't really feeling well. Karen lives within walking distance of Yankee Stadium. I think if I could walk to the ballpark I might buy season tickets just for the sake of convenience. Anyway, they won 7-1. Giambi hit 2 home runs and a double -- without steroids, thank you very much. The Phoenix Suns won as well, which means the Lakers didn't and that is good enough for me.

Does anyone like Chloe Sevigny? I am struck by how pretty her eyelashes are but that's pretty much it. She's on this new show Big Love that is kind of like a train wreck. It's about polygamy, which is undeniably fascinating. For those of us who are not sure we want to get married one time, the idea that someone would want to be married three times (if they're a guy) or have to deal with your husband having multiple wives and children -- well it's a little mindblowing. Although it would help to not have to have sex with your husband during your period or when you have a migraine. You can just tell one of the other wives to do it. Anyway, Chloe Sevigny. She's freaky.

So Tom Cruise named his baby the wrong thing. Shock upon shock, the man's a moron. Apparently, Suri does not mean “princess” or whatever they thought it meant and it is not Hebrew since most Israelis questioned never heard of it, although today a story came out saying that it means “get out of here”. It can be seen as a nickname for Sarah, which is the female version of Sar which means "cabinet minister." So poetic. It is also a derivative of an Egyptian male name, something having to do with the Sun God. He's so worried about people knowing he's gay and yet he's given his daughter her drag king name at birth. How convenient! My sister told me she heard that it means "pickpocket" in Japan. I love that one the most because it’s so random. In other TomKat news, someone had to call Katie Holmes' family to tell them she had a baby. They were happy to get the call. They said they had been out of the loop because there was no cell phone signal near the rock they were living under but they were going to call Verizon and get that squared right away.

Confessions of a dangerous mind... sort of

Not hungover today even though I went out last night. Still, I stayed in all day. I wanted to go to a poetry reading this afternoon but it had the audacity to rain. The nerve! I just cannot take rain today. Rain on my head. Carrying an umbrella. Ugh. No, no, no -- not today.
I have decided to compile a list of things that I am embarassed about but can't seem to do anything to change.

1) I always have dirty laundry. The hamper is never empty. Never. I have more clothes than a department store, most of which I should just give up on already. I have clothes in like 4 different sizes and I have several pairs of vintage bell bottoms that are never coming back into fashion. In essence I have too much clothes and I don't do laundry often enough.

2) I stack things. Namely mail. There is a mountain of it on my kitchen table. There is also a mountain of books in a corner and a mountain of magazines on my coffee table. And let's not forget the mountain of jackets. I have no hall closet in this apartment so I have been saying for close to 8 months now that I was going to go buy a wardrobe for the living room to put my jackets in. Right now they are just stacked on a chair. I kid you not. This leads me to another confession -- that I procrastinate. But who doesn't do that?

3) I watch the same movies over and over and over. No one should have seen Mean Girls as many times as I have. Let's not even get started on Moonstruck which I finally bought on DVD and am about to watch again. To be followed by Kissing Jessica Stein. And then possibly Season 1 of The L Word. I might switch up the order or throw GoodFellas in there but probably not. It will most likely be the vagina film festival -- all sappy stuff with romance and/or girl-on-girl action. If only I liked porn. But I don't.

4) I am currently not calling someone back. Not because I don't like her. I am just afraid to call her. What should I do, readers? Why am I afraid?

If I think of anything else to confess I will let you know. It's good getting this heavy stuff off of my chest.

Supa smaht

I went out with some friends last night. So much for not drinking. There was vomit on my neighbors' front walk this morning. I swear I have no idea how it got there. The DJ at Henrietta Hudson totally knows how to play music that will make someone dance like a retard. Not me, of course. But other people. Righhhhhhhhhhtttt....

I had to get up this morning and go to a press event. I didn't set my alarm. Well, I did. But I set it for 9:00 pm instead of am. Because I do be supa smaht. The event was great, though. It was at Brasserie Julien which is owned by this phenomenal guy, Philippe. Everyone should go there. They make cool cocktails (none of which I had, thank you very much, because I was WORKING. I mean really, what do you take me for?) and this dessert that is basically really thick chocolate mousse that he cuts into little square slices. It's so good!

I decided the best way to cure myself of my hangover was to walk 50 blocks to go meet my mom down in Murray Hill. It was so beautiful out today! Actually the 50 blocks kind of flew by. Plus, my friend who lives in Bordeaux called while I was walking so it was fun to catch up with her. And someone else called who I just met and am therefore not ready to talk about but who is very very cute. And I ran into a girl I haven't seen in forever and we made tentative plans to "do lunch". And I saw my friend's sister, who I haven't seen in a while either. Third Avenue on a sunny day is apparently that ubiquitous place people are always talking about where you will see everyone you ever met if you just stay there long enough. I also got some work done via Katherine at the office. Walking long distances in Manhattan with a cell phone -- you can get a lot done.

Sodey pop for me

I decided to wake up early today even though it is my day off so I could get some work done on my writing. I can't decide if the character in one of my stories should KNOW she's adopted. For some reason this decision is keeping me up at night and until I make it I can't continue the story. It's stuck. No one can really help with this decision, including The Gilmour Girls. But I'd rather watch The Gilmour Girls than think about this anymore. They could prove to be inspiring. You never know.

I'm so glad that more of you didn't show up to Dollar Drafts. Those of you who did saw the very worst version of me. Suffice it to say I have a temper. And I don't like 23 year-old marines. And that's about all I feel like saying right now. Forget the adoption question. Maybe I'll make the girl in my story someone who gets into a bar fight and decides to stop drinking.

I have to go to a networking event tonight at Mainland. Nothing there is a dollar so I should be fine. I think I am going to stick to sodey pop.

Meant to be Debbie Harry

I don't know if you guys heard about this incident. But just to be clear, it happened in St Maarten, not St. Martin. That is the touristy Dutch side of the island, not the cool French side that some of my friends were raised on. Just to be clear.

I watched the GLAAD Awards on LOGO this weekend, my favorite cable channel. Do you know why I love it? They show French movies about drag queens and really old episodes of The Real World. Remember when The Real World had to have like a gay person, a black person, an okie from the backwoods, etc. and they all had to try to get along and deal with their differences and try not to throw things at each other? Now everyone on that show is 12 going on 30 and they wear way too much make up and always manage to find a reason to run around the house naked after jumping in the hot tub with each other. Anyway, Kate Moennig attended the awards in New York but they DID NOT TELEVISE her presenting an award. Sigh.

The highlight from the awards was when one of the kids that was on my favorite show from last season, TransGeneration, proposed to his girlfriend on TV. It was so cute. I cried a little. I loved that show because I am amazed that someone could KNOW that they were born the wrong sex. They are so sure of it, so sure that they are willing to change their bodies, cut something off or take pills so something else changes shape -- they are willing to do this to become the person they think they should be. I'm pretty sure I was really meant to be Debbie Harry. But I'm not sure there is anything I can do about that.

GLAAD also honored Charlize Theron, who, I'm sorry, is the PRETTIEST PERSON EVER. She's just so pretty.

Dollar drafts at Third and Long tonight guys. Who's coming? I was off today (I did fuck all, I swear) and tomorrow (when I will probably do pretty much the ame thing.) So I don't have to wake up early or anything. Everyone should come out and play with me, that's what I think.

Spinning children

Happy Easter everyone. Today is the day that I PURPOSELY give my nephews more chocolate than they can handle and then watch them spin like little tops until they fall on the ground. Actually, they usually end up fighting over something really important, like they both want to sit on the same end of the couch, and then their little testosterone-driven bodies force them to smack each other until one of them cries. Boys are weird.

I saw Friends with Money last night. It gave me a brand new reason to appreciate both the genius of and the duplicity of the movie marketing industry. Sometimes they cut a trailer to make a movie look more commercial. Actually, it was kind of an odd movie. But does everyone agree that even when Jennifer Aniston looks BAD she kind of looks like someone you would want to hang out with?

I then went to Continental. No, really, I did. I am not an NYU groupie who drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon but yes, I went there. To meet Abby. I paid $8 to hear her friend's band. He was pretty good -- he had an awesome voice. It was weird to not be 17 and be at Continental. So much of my life between the ages of 15 and 20 was spent in that bar and others like it, pretending I didn't mind that the heel of my shoe was stuck to inexplicable stickiness on the floor because whatever band I was there to see was worth it --- well, it was exhausting. But I liked the kind of guys that hung out there when I was that age. They all had that "look" -- you know, dirty hair, piercings in protruding parts of their bodies, beer bottle hanging out of side of their mouth. You know, the kind of guy that would give my mother immediate heart failure if I ever started dating him. I've outgrown all those guys now. It's amazing but somehow I've grown up but they've stayed the same age.

We ended up at Third and Long. A lot of nights I end up Third and Long. Abby told me that on Monday and Tuesday nights they have $1 drafts. So we're gonna go on Tuesday. Who wants to come?

I discovered this great site where you can look up song lyrics. I think they got some of them wrong. I hate when I hear a song the radio and I think I know the lyrics and I am so impressed with them and then I find out that what I thought they were singing is not what they were singing at all.

So I have to download new music for my MP3 player now. Here is what I am gonna be looking for. Basically my inspiration for downloading music is any song that I've heard recently in a bar or restaurant that made me say, "Oooh I love that song." Tell me what you guys think:
Sean Paul, "The Temperature"
Bruce Springsteen, "I'm on Fire"
Chris Issak, "Wicked Game"
Pussycat Dolls and Will.i.am, "Beep"
Social Distortion, "Story of My Life"
Indigo Girls, "Land of Canaan"
Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle"
Some songs by Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. (Have you guys heard of this band? Aren't they awesome?)

Later tonight I might be going to Radio Perfecto. It's in the East Village. If you want to come I promise to be ridiculous and drunk and throw my arms around you and tell you how much I love you and how glad I am that we are friends... even if I don't really know you that well.

Don't stop till you get enough

I spend a good portion of these hungover moments listening to music like this. Is it bad that I am tempted to spend the $1.99 just so I can own that video? I miss those days. When I would dance around my living room with my sister to Off the Wall. Remember when Michael Jackson was black? And cute? And talented? Those were the days.

Crash Mansion was fun. It turns out that they do that free drinks thing a lot. I still credit Abby for inviting us, though. Anyway, how it works is you get free vodka drinks from 9:00-10:00 pm. For $10 you get free drinks, not just vodka, from 9:00-11:00 pm. In return, you are required to scream at your friends over the din of bands who THINK they're The Strokes. Abby's friend's band was pretty good, though. From what I could tell. All that well vodka pretty much did me in. Hi to Abby's friend, Leigh. It was nice to meet you!

The Irish bouncer basically proved to me that I am not a lesbian. 'Cuz I thought he was cute. Ah, inner conflict. Good times. He was kind of smart. The girl who sold the wrist bands was saying she was going to Paris by herself and is that weird? And I said, no, I go alone all the time. (I work for the French so they send me over there for work and I don't ever have friends with me except the ones who live there.) This started him on a rant about French politics, which he knew a lot about, surprisingly, considering he was from Dublin. See how the French bring people together?

Today is Holy Saturday. According to this website Holy Saturday should be the "quietest night of the year." Whoever wrote this doesn't know my family. On my Mom's side we're Italian so we celebrate every day even remotely associated with Christ. And we eat some weird spaghetti pie. It has something to do with breaking the Lenten fast by eating lots of carbohydrates. I don't know. I think I just made that up. Anyway, I have to see my family today is the point. I kind of would rather go out.

My friend Stephanie is having a party later tonight. Anyone wanna come with me? She said I could bring people. She didn't specify strangers from Friendster and MySpace, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

Gotta pee

EW! Did everyone hear about this? http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/04/04/homeland.arrest/index.html. I'm a little behind in my news absorption lately so bear with me. Could this guy BE any sicker? I don't think so.

I'm headed to Crash Mansion tonight. Who's coming with? My friend Abby's friend is playing a gig there and she set it up for us to get free drinks because she is, like, fifty shades of nifty!
Do you guys remember my blog about the guy on the subway? Well, this beats that... http://besotted.typepad.com/besotted/2006/04/reason_6429_why.html. And, I'm sorry to tell you this, Chris, but it beats you asking for numbers on the L train, too.

Okay, I have to pee because I drink sixty glasses of water a day and we had wine at work. So I'm cutting this short. I promise to write something funny about being hungover and pathetic tomorrow.

Boy crisis

Articles like this one in the Washington Post really piss me off. Apparently boys are falling behind academically and something must be done. Right. Because all those years that girls were "falling behind" (read: being ignored in any academic situation that didn't involve poetry or home economics) no one seemed to be quite as upset about it. But now, people are proposing a "complete overhaul of American education based on gender, saying that boys are wired differently from girls". Apparently boys "are at a disadvantage in the many classrooms headed by female teachers, who are supposedly hostile to their sex." The author of this piece does not seem to agree with these proposals and neither do I. She seems to think the trouble is apparent in poorer, racially diverse groups than in the middle- and upper-class groups of white boys, which makes sense to me, because according to research -- uh, duh -- people with more money and lighter skin have access to better schools and stronger resources. But this article in Newsweek seems to says that boys across the board have it rough. Aw. The poor dears.

These so-called experts want to institute a different form of education for boys, one with concentrations in "boy" things, like military training and/or sports. Seriously. As if to say boys CAN'T handle academics because they're wired differently. So give them a break. They need to be in a masculine environment to succeed. Don't EVEN get me started on this.

It's funny -- historically, men have spent a great deal of time and energy proclaiming their own greatness, their superiority. There was even a time when men thought it was a scientifically valid argument that they had larger brains than women. (I think they were operating under the wrong definition for "brain" myself.) Now, it is like they are saying, "Wah wah, no fair. We're not doing as well. Something must be wrong."
Meanwhile, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it seem white men have never had it better than they do right now? Not all men but definitely privileged white men. I mean between insider trading, stock scandals and stolen elections, white men don't seem to be suffering because their female counterparts are suddenly excelling in school.

And one of these days someone has GOT to smack Laura Bush upside the head. How someone with 2 daughters -- 2 daughters who could use a little more parental attention, if you ask me, if nothing more than to teach them how to dress and hold their liquor -- can make a statement about "turning her attention to the problem of boys" is beyond me.

I have nephews. And I love them. But I worry sometimes that they are growing up in a world that says it is okay to whine about thing being unfair when things don't go your way. Which is what these articles are doing. Whether the writers in question agree or disagree with this phenomenon, writing articles about it gives it validity as a news story. Suddenly girls are succeeding academically -- or I don't think its so sudden because the smartest kids in my grammar school were always girls -- and there must be something wrong. It must be because academics are skewed against boys, or boys are wired differently so we have to give them different goals. If girls had tried to pull this shit, we would be seen as whiny, weak, inferior. As if we couldn't tough it out.

I'm not saying that if I had a son I wouldn't want him to do well. I would probably hope that he did better than everyone. That's what loving your kids is about, I imagine. But I don't think the world should change every time some group decides they're disadvantaged. Disadvantages are racial prejudices, poverty -- not "Mary did better than me on the SATs. Mom, Dad, let's sue the school". (A high school student in Massachusetts is actually suing his high school). I mean Albert Einstein went to school with girls, Thomas Edison went to school with girls, Jonas Salk went to school with girls. And their parents didn't read this book. Granted when they went to school, it was the girls' parents who could have used a book like that.

Okay, I'm done with this rant. Suggestion for the day -- I know that Barnes & Noble and Amazon are super convenient, but if you live in New York, try to shop at independent bookstores? It's no secret they're disappearing. But there are some great ones left -- like McNally Robinson. I go to readings there sometimes if you guys want to come with.

Apathetic nation

The Pew Research Center recently conducted a survey from a sample of 2,000 Americans to find out what political ideology they subscribe to. You're probably tempted to stop reading now because there were a lot of big words in that sentence but bear with me. Anyway, of the people they polled they asked them economic questions (Do you think the government should be more or less involved in business?) and social questions (Are you for or against the legalization of gay marriage?) The four political ideologies are Liberal, Conservative. Libertarian and Populist. 58% of the group were split into these four groups with Liberals being the largest group. (YAY!) That means that... brace yourself... 42% of the group, the largest portion, were APATHETIC. Meaning they didn't want to answer some of the questions or they didn't care enough to answer some of the questions. Does that not rock your world? Maybe not. Maybe you're one of the 42 percenters and you don't give a fuck about this blog.

If you're like me by the way and you are FOR the legalization of gay marriage and you are here in New York this info is for you.

Saturday, June 3: Wedding March across the Brooklyn Bridge organized by Marriage Equality/NY, meets in Cadman Plaza in Brooklyn at 11 a.m. for a rally prior to proceeding at noon to Battery Park in Manhattan for a picnic and performances.

Hope to see you there!I fyou don't stand up for gay marriage I may never be allowed to marry Katherine Moennig. And that would make me very sad.

Today's the day!

Today is the first day of the season that I will be spending at Yankee Stadium. Are you all excited for me? I'm excited. Beer and baseball... with my mother. She bought the tickets so she's coming. They were her Christmas gift to the family -- a series of season tickets. Not the whole season but it's enough. I got my Mattingly shirt on (my all-time favorite player) and I'm ready to get my drink on. If I tell you what games I got tickets for this season, you could try to get tickets, too and then we can all be drunk together screaming obscenities at the opposing team. Doesn't that sound fun!

Do you know what I forgot to tell you guys from last month when I got back from L.A.? I was at the bar at my hotel talking to some women who told me some fascinating stories about her life. (This is what people do in hotel bars.) Anyway, my friend Peter was on his way so it wasn't as sad as it sounds. I'm not just some loser in a hotel bar... not entirely anyway. I notice this guy sitting next to me and he looks so familiar. So finally I ask him if he's an actor. He says yes, he's been on Law & Order and a few other shows but that wouldn't be something I would remember. (The only person I remember guest-starring on Law & Order was Kate Moennig and we all know why that is.) But he has a southern accent and I knew that before he opened his mouth which kind of freaks me out. After he leaves I realize where I know him from.

I used to be obsessed with this documentary about child beauty pageants. It's like a freaking train wreck. Once you watch it you can't stop watching it. It's so horrific! Anyway, the beauty pagent coaches in this documentary are this gay couple, Shane & Michael. HE WAS ONE OF THEM! And I don't think he's really a gay beauty pagent coach. Because he was at the bar canoodling with a hot girl. Isn't that funny? No? It's sad that I recognized someone from this horrible documentary you say? Well, maybe... but ... I use my powers for constructive, non-pathetic things, too. I swear.

Render unto Caesar

My friends Anne-Laure and Eylem had their baby last night. Gabrielle was born at 11:15 pm Sunday night. I met her this afternoon. She's so cute it's hard to believe she's a newborn. I'm so happy for them! It's amazing to me that my friend is now responsible for another human life. While I have no doubt she will be great at it, I am floored that her whole world has changed and she seems to be handling it with such aplomb.

Okay, unrelated -- I read this in the Times this weekend -- http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/09/opinion/09wills.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&incamp=article_popular. This op-ed kind of rocked my world because it basically verbalized a thought pattern that I forgot even existed. The point of it is that Christianity and politics cannot coexist not simply because of seperation of Church and State, but because they WERE NEVER MEANT TO COEXIST. Get it? Remember when Jesus (a tax paying citizen) said "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's"? Meaning they are seperate entities. Being a taxpayer, a law abiding member of society, a politician even, has nothing to do with being a Christian.

The other quote from the Bible in this piece is one that was beaten into my thick skull throughout my years in parochial school. It's from Matthew 6:5-6 -- "When you pray, be not like the pretenders, who prefer to pray in the synagogues and in the public square, in the sight of others. In truth I tell you, that is all the profit they will have. But you, when you pray, go into your inner chamber and, locking the door, pray there in hiding to your Father, and your Father who sees you in hiding will reward you." Meaning just because you make a big show out of being a Christian doesn't mean you know what it means, you big hypocrite. And see, what did I tell you? Christ doesn't want us to pray in school.

Lately, for completely unrelated reasons, I have been trying to keep some Christian thoughts at the forefront of my brain. I've been trying to remember the things I was taught as a child that did not thwart my development, the things that did not warp my judgement, the good stuff, you know? Sometimes God shows you something.

Saturday night a man came onto the 6 train that I was taking uptown to a reunion party that some girls from my high school were throwing (to which no one from my graduating class showed up, by the way.) This man came on the train. I kept listening to my MP3 player, wanting not to see him. He walked through the train asking for money. As he walked by me, I saw he had no shoes. His feet were dirty and gnarled and it was really cold out that night. And I started to cry. Not out loud or anything, just tears and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't look up because then he would see I was crying which would certainly make him feel worse about the fact that he has no shoes, that his clothes are stuffed with newspapers, that's he's asking for money on the subway, right? Even if he "put himself in that position" as some of my friends say to rationalize not giving money to homeless people, so what? The truth is he is standing in front of me with no shoes and not only do I have shoes but I have never known what it is like NOT to have shoes, not even when my mom was standing in line for government cheese back in the day.
I'm happy that I have lived in New York my entire life and the sight of someone with no shoes had an effect on me. I'm scared that I won't always see these people. I wonder if God puts these people in our way so that we will see them.

Anyway, it's interesting that this op-ed made it into the newspaper. I didn't imagine a lot of people would care about this but lots of blogs went out yesterday an today with people's reactions. I think a lot of these blogs missed the point but its cool that Christ is being discussed and NOT by the scary people -- meaning right wing, bigoted, using-Christ-as-a-shield-to-hide-their-own-discretions weirdos, people that I would be scared for little Gabrielle or my nephews or any of the other children I love to be exposed to. You know who you are.

Okey dokey, Christian rant OUT. Random Louise thoughts IN. Does anyone else liket the band Spoon? Amazing group. One of their songs has now made it into a car commercial, which disturbs me, but whatever.

In other interesting news, the V train just stopped running tonight because, according to our very well-informed conductor, "there's some problem with the tracks at... um... Grand Street... in Brooklyn... I mean in Queens." You wanna know what I think? I think there are gonna be LOTS of subway delays in the coming days because Roger Toussaint got jail time today. If ever a nimrod had something coming... Christian thoughts, Louise. Christian thoughts.

Pink is not a lesbian

I don't think I've ever gotten over the fact that Pink is not a lesbian. It pisses me off a little bit because she would make such a GREAT one, don't you think? She's hot, she has great hair and she's such a cute little tough chick. Wasn't she into girls for a while or did I imagine that? Wasn't she caught making out with Kristanna Loken? Hold on, I'm going to google that. Yes, yes, I was right... http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2006150032,00.html. Anyway, it would have been cool if she'd turned out to be gay.

My friend Annie wants to set me up with a former heroin addict. Who thinks I should do it? She's only half serious. But apparently me an former junkie share a love of Ani DiFranco. I love bad asses anyway and I am also so into people who have enough self-realization to STOP damaging behavior. I mean how cool is that? And how many of us can't seem to do it?

I have two internet dates set up as well which I am pretty nervous about. Has everyone heard the story of my LAST internet date? Well, technically I met my ex-boyfriend on Friendster. But before that, like 1 year before, I met this guy on Nerve, which I still attest is the least creepy of the internet dating sites. Anyway, we agreed to meet in Brooklyn for some reason and he was super late which is a whole other story. But in the process of the date, he asks me if I was honest on my profile. I was like, "Yeah. I think I was." He tells me that he lied. I say, "What did you lie about?" And he says, "Rememeber that question that said 'Blank is sexy but blank is sexier." I say yeah, you were supposed to fill in the blanks. He says, "Well, I lied about mine. I don't remember what I wrote but I should have written 'Beating people up is sexy but choking them is sexier.'" Turns out this guy is into hardcore fetish S&M, specifically asphyxiation sex. I ask him what a girl says when he ask to choke her during sex? He says, "I don't ask them first." That was the end of the date. I actually ditched that guy on the subway. He was headed back to Astoria, as was I, and I told him that I was getting off at Ditmars, the last stop on the N train but really my stop was 39th Avenue, the first stop. So when the train got to my stop I booked, ran out the doors and watched them close in his face.

After our date, this sicko joined the Peace Corps. Funny, huh?

Someone is sick of her

Is it bad that I still get so much enjoyment out of Felicity reruns. I think it is because I wish my college experience had been more like Felicity's. First of all, Felicity did not have as many people in her circle of friends coming out to her. Nearly every month one of my friends decided he was gay and he just HAD to come out to someone. Which depleted the already shallow dating pool at Hofstra by quite a bit every time. And there weren't any cute girls either.

Also, my "circle" was never quite as tight as Felicity's. I only had a group of friends twice in college -- once my freshman year, with a crowd of people who decided that we were St. Elmo's Fire. Then I pledged a sorority after I broke up with my boyfriend junior year. Other than that, I've never known what it's like to have a consistent circle of friends. My sister's theory is that because we're twins, we were born with our circle. And my mother's theory is that our family is so close that that is my circle. But I can't say I don't wish I knew what it was like to KNOW who I am going to invite if I get four tickets to a Yankee game or get free passes for a party. I consistently invite Jessica, but other than that I have dozens of people to choose from, all of whom have their own circles, circles that I just visit from time to time.

Anyway.... let's talk about something else. Is anyone else not particularly inspired by American Idol this season? I am kind of rooting for Paris or Katharine. Any opinions?

What does everyone think of all this trouble Jared Paul Stern is in? I bet it is pretty exciting for all of those PR people (not me, I represent a country, not a celebrity or anything, thank GOD) to see Page Six in trouble after all the agita they give publicists everywhere. But JPS is the author of one of my favorite all time quotes -- "Whenever you see a beautiful girl it pays to remember that someone, somewhere is sick of her." Don't you love that? He is the modern Walter Winchell who, if memory of history serves got himself in quite a bit of trouble in his day, too.

That guy from Toto changed everything

I have the day off today so I have decided to spend it watching the Travel Channel and Food Network, both of which specialize in programming that relates to my job, therefore making my tax deduction on cable TV COUNT. I found out how much I owe yesterday. I really hope the IRS enjoys my first- and second-born children and raises them with the love and attention that I would.

My favorite show on The Travel Channel is called No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. He does not seem like the nicest person and yet I have a slight crush on him. There is something about self-confessed former junkies. They get me every time.

Speaking of people that I am oddly attracted to, the other night I had a meeting in Tribeca and I went around the corner to the oh-so-fancy Korean deli next to Nobu (Location, location, location people!) to pick up a greasy egg roll from the steamer table or a granola bar or something because I forgot to eat. (I keep doing that. Then I wind up at steamer tables at 9:00 at night. Not good.) Anyway, I am on the phone with my mom, as usual, and I look up and I see Eric Bogosian. At which point I say, "Hey, Mom, Eric Bogosian is here." He looks at me, plastic shopping basket over his arm. Then I say, "I didn't mean to say that out loud." "Yeah, but you did," he said. I decided I didn't need the granola bar and I went home.

I went out to see Chris' show the other night. The bar in front was playing VH1 Classic without the sound because there were, like, actual bands playing. Of course, there were many of us who would have preferred VH1 Classics. Not because of Chris -- him and Steve were great. But some of the others... well, a French horn player does NOT belong in a rock club. That's all I have to say. Two of the girls at the bar were very impressed because I was able to recognize the Toto video for "Rosanna" without the sound on. (This is not impressive so much as sad and indicative of my age.) One of them said, "Ew, guys like that are why I started drinking." I said, "Guys like that are why I started dating women." I love making new friends at bars.