Today's the day!

Today is the first day of the season that I will be spending at Yankee Stadium. Are you all excited for me? I'm excited. Beer and baseball... with my mother. She bought the tickets so she's coming. They were her Christmas gift to the family -- a series of season tickets. Not the whole season but it's enough. I got my Mattingly shirt on (my all-time favorite player) and I'm ready to get my drink on. If I tell you what games I got tickets for this season, you could try to get tickets, too and then we can all be drunk together screaming obscenities at the opposing team. Doesn't that sound fun!

Do you know what I forgot to tell you guys from last month when I got back from L.A.? I was at the bar at my hotel talking to some women who told me some fascinating stories about her life. (This is what people do in hotel bars.) Anyway, my friend Peter was on his way so it wasn't as sad as it sounds. I'm not just some loser in a hotel bar... not entirely anyway. I notice this guy sitting next to me and he looks so familiar. So finally I ask him if he's an actor. He says yes, he's been on Law & Order and a few other shows but that wouldn't be something I would remember. (The only person I remember guest-starring on Law & Order was Kate Moennig and we all know why that is.) But he has a southern accent and I knew that before he opened his mouth which kind of freaks me out. After he leaves I realize where I know him from.

I used to be obsessed with this documentary about child beauty pageants. It's like a freaking train wreck. Once you watch it you can't stop watching it. It's so horrific! Anyway, the beauty pagent coaches in this documentary are this gay couple, Shane & Michael. HE WAS ONE OF THEM! And I don't think he's really a gay beauty pagent coach. Because he was at the bar canoodling with a hot girl. Isn't that funny? No? It's sad that I recognized someone from this horrible documentary you say? Well, maybe... but ... I use my powers for constructive, non-pathetic things, too. I swear.