Things I can't fix

I'm worried about so many things I can't control these days. Number one on that list is a good friend who's lying in a hospital bed right now. It's the worst feeling in the world when you can't help someone you love. But this situation is definitely out of my control. All I can do is pray, bring him magazines and try not to think about all of the what-ifs.

I don't even like blogging about it but it's pretty high on my list of priorities right now, thus I have nothing else to write about. Maybe if I put it all down in writing I will feel a little less overcome by the whole situation. I don't want anyone's sympathy, though -- I can't accept it, well-intentioned as it may be. Sad as I am right now, this is not happening to me. It's happening to him. I'm just trying to be a good friend, a friendly face, someone to crack jokes at the stupid hospital staff (and they are a little stupid) and the terrible hospital food (and, my God, is it terrible), and make promises to bring pizza and games on my next visit.

It sucks. As some of you may know, I share one trait with most heterosexual men -- when someone I know has a problem I try to fix it instead of just listening to them bitch. But I can't fix this. And it makes me mad.