Disappointment

I just got back from DC tonight. It was freaking tiring. I had to work on this event with like an entire delegation from France. It was kind of retarded but they were happy with the event which is, I guess, all that matters.
While I was there I got some rather disappointing news. An opportunity that I was told was going to come my way was taken away at the last minute. It kind of makes me mad and sad at the same time. Anytime you're rejected -- even when it's not personal, it feels personal, right? So now I feel like a big fucking failure and there's nothing I can do about it. My friend Katie kind of talked me through it while I was standing in between the train cars on the Acela which was nice of her. I really feel like shit right now. It's hard not to feel stupid and useless sometimes. It's just more important to figure out a way to channel those feelings and not let them get to you. For various reasons lately I have wished I could wake up in a different body, a different brain. I'm not particularly fond of me lately.
I came home and watched reruns of The L Word and The Real World Road Rules Challenge and had two Magners and I feel slightly better.