I've decided that I am going on strike. I feel that in all honesty I DESERVE to make more money. I DESERVE to not have to pay for my health insurance. I DESERVE to work whenever and wherever I damn well please. I will not go to work until I get these things and if my company tries to fire me or compel me to live up to the agreement that I made with them when I came to work there, I will just take them to court. But first I will take out a $5 million loan so that it won't matter that I'm not working -- a loan I never intend to pay back, by the way -- and before I walk away from my office in a huff in the middle of a workday I will make it so that no one else can do my job by convincing everyone else I work with that I am fighting the good fight so of course they will all come with me. It won't be so bad. It's not like I work for a major metropolitan transit authority or something. I'm sure it will be fine.
Good luck to my fellow non-Manhattan residents. I bet you never thought you'd have an excuse to walk over a bridge in the freezing cold.
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